Duck You, Auto Correct.

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Auto Correct, this thing is the bane of my ducking life. I rely on the word DUCK to write my blog and if I am writing on my phone then every fuck turns into duck! What the DUCK! It’s bad for business.

The other night I was cooking racists for dinner. I mean tacos. TACOS!! My phone turned tacos into racist. What did the Mexicans do to deserve that? It’s not their fault Old El Paso made those shitty, soft racist boats. He’s OLD!  I wonder what fucking racists would be like? I mean duck tacos….

Yeah, auto correct just sucks. I was trying to plan a movie with a friend and this came out.

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And there was that one time when my friend was desperate to try making her own labia.

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LABNA. Yoghurt cheese. You sick ducks. I have to say though, racists are much easier to make. They cook in no time, especially on a pyre.

In a hilarious twist, if you need a quick trip to the shops and have to tell someone you are going, don’t tell them you are “ducking out”. It will turn into “I am fucking it”.

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Pop stars also somehow make it into your phone’s dictionary, even if you do not want them to.

I cannot ducking Bieber this is happening! And my husband wants to "tough this guy"? What the DUCK!

I couldn’t ducking Bieber this was happening! And my husband wants to “touch this guy”? What the DUCK! NO way is he ever getting near my hairy racist again!

Sometimes Auto Correct makes up a new word that should actually be a word. Especially if it is referring to shit.

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I would do anything for love…..but I won’t do that.

 

 

 

If the singer Meat Loaf is looking a bit dicey this week, perhaps it’s time for Shit Loaf? I can actually hold a tune. Hmmm….food for thought.

Anyway. Before you tell me to turn the ducking thing off, it will only make things worse. Seriously. Can you imagine the pain?

I type really uickly and you will barely be able to understand w rosk I am fucking fsaying.

Yeah. I didn’t think so birches.

THE END

Liked it? Then like the Fuck You Friday Page or I’ll kick your ducking arse. You’d better Bieber it.

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