Fuck You, Married at First Sight.

This show is ruining my life!!! Not since the ALDI special buys have I become so addicted to something so bad for me.

This is the first season I have ever watched, and BOY has it delivered the goods.  So …

Fuck You, Nits.

Well, haven’t we been given the best school introduction ever? Starting with last weeks broken arm (fuck you monkey bars) and ending with NITS. That’s right, we have fucking head lice.

The first clue came on Sunday night when my …

Fuck You, Starting School.

I’m now the  mother  of a school kid, I cannot bloody believe it!

I’m amazed for a number of reasons. The fact that my daughter is now 5 and in a school, and the fact that I managed to prepare …

Fuck You, Blogging.

I read a post by DaDMuM yesterday. He went on a bit of a rant about how unglamorous blogging can be and all the associated shit that comes along with it. He NAILED it. It was like he was inside …

Fuck You, Miserable Bitch at the Post Office.

I’ve got my rage on my friends. Old school style! It seems to have simmered down in recent months with a thing call happiness. But IT IS BACK BITCHES.

Recently I’ve been posting cocks in the mail. It’s not something …

Fuck You, iPhone X.

I’ve been hanging on by a thread for a new phone since mine took a dive in the pool in Fiji a year ago. Since then it has worked, but badly, and the reverse camera doesn’t work at all. Meaning …

Fuck You, Fighting Kids.

My god. I have entered some entirely new dimension now my kids are a bit older.

No longer do I have to stop the bigger one from throwing baked bean cans at the baby.  I don’t have to keep an …

Fuck You, Aldi Speed Checkouts.

You all know I love Aldi. In fact, if I had to name my favourite store, it would probably win. It has everything you need and everything you didn’t even think you needed. Where else on earth can you buy …

5 Ways to Survive Gastro Without a Single Skid Mark.

I just had gastro, in case you hadn’t heard. Who am I kidding, of course you heard! As soon as I was able to breathe without throwing up, I told the entire planet and begged for sympathy.

Gastro is THE …

Fuck You, Hormonal Binge Eating.

I would like to say a giant FUCK YOU to the 4 pack of Nanna’s apple pies I have crammed down my trap with ice cream over the past few days. Also deserving of a pointy middle finger is the …

Steam Your Snatch. Balinese Style.

I can never predict what is going to part the waters here at Fuck You Friday. Just when I think we are all one big happy family, I break out something that pisses some people who I have never heard …

It’s not for me.

I have a funky foot issue. An issue with my foot tissue. Tinea. And it’s fucking gross.

Despite wearing thongs at the pool and drying in between my toes after a shower, I have this reoccurring fungus between my two …

Fuck You, Pauline Hanson.

I’ve wanted to say this for an awfully long time. Fuck you, Pauline Hanson.

Over the last 20 years, I’ve watched you pick on Asians, Muslims, the LGBTQI community and other women, and I’ve silently fumed. Rolled my eyes, gone

F*ck You, Random Things You (Shouldn’t) Put In Your Fanny.

Fanny, Gash, Muff, Beaver, Bat Cave, Vajayjay, Beef Curtains, Badly Packed Kebab, Pussy, Snatch, Foo Foo, Front Bottom, Bearded Oyster. There are dozens of creative names for the humble vagina, which is enjoying an alarming resurgence in popularity as a …

Fuck You, Amazing Crystal Garden.

I got this thing the other day that I thought my kids would LOVE. It is called “The Amazing Crystal Garden”. And it is anything but amazing.

I’m always suspicious of things that claim to be amazing, as they are …

Fuck You (again), Mother’s Day.

Oh god. It’s been a year since I exposed the shithouse presents available for Mums around the world and plunged the sales of Peruvian Potato Farming fashion into the ground.

Am I sorry? Fuck no. I consider this a community …

A letter from Far Kew to you.

Ever since I started this blog I have been asked if I consider myself a writer, and the answer is always no. I don’t get paid for it, I never did any training for it and I didn’t set out …

Fuck You, Toilet Training.

I have been a mother for 1682 days. I have changed countless nappies, fully toilet trained one kid and am just about done with the other one. The end is in sight! But I’ve still got a way to go. …

Fuck You, Good Friday.

Does Good Friday always turn out to be good? Or does it just feel that way because the Thursday before Good Friday is over?

Yesterday I had to go to the shops to get milk and that stupid Poopin’ Pup …

Fuck You, Poopin’ Pup.

My oldest Womb Raider who is now 4 had the biggest meltdown I have ever seen the other day. I actually thought I might have to call an ambulance, that’s how fucking nuts she went.

It started off pretty innocently. …

The End. For Now.

I had a bit of a weird night last night. I don’t know if it’s the no sleep thing or if it’s just a natural progression. But I just decided I do not want to do this anymore.

The internet …

Fuck You, Flat Sheets.

You all know I am having some issues with my sleeping. Well if you didn’t, you do now. It sucks a large amount of balls to try and smash life when you haven’t slept and I’m slowly going out of  …

Fuck You, Fat Shamers.

When I was little my Mum always used to tell me that “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. Sorry Mum, but that’s a flaming pile of horse shit. I hear things like ‘eat …

Fuck You, Breastfeeding Shamers.

A year ago a friend posted on her Facebook page about a terrible experience on a plane where she was trying to breastfeed her 9 week old son. I remember feeling so angry for her, and grateful in a way …

Fuck You, THE END.

There have been a few anniversaries for me recently, but today marks 1 year since one of my most notorious pieces went a little bit cray cray.

Through a misunderstanding or “Facebook glitch” as it’s often called, I was booted …

Fuck You, Bad Photos.

In the selfie age it’s hard to escape the fact that everyone holding a phone is holding a camera. The urge to whip it out at every opportunity and document your life is powerful. You watch your friends lives unfold …

Happy Fucking Birthday.

12 months ago today I registered www.fuckyoufriday.com.au and decided I was going to write my rants every Friday. With the exception of one or two weeks when life got in the way, I’ve stayed true to my word.

I hope

Fuck You, Cheating Bastards.

If I have to hear about one more of my friends having their lives turned upside down by a cheating man I will scream. It’s just so fucking predictable I want to cry.

One epic douche with a head that …

Fuck You, Cuntry Road Fat Pants.

Oh man, Santa was good to me at Christmas time. He gave me 5 extra kilos of chub that I simply cannot get rid of. Yes, it was me that gorged on the mince pies, the pavlova, the 5 kilos …

Fuck You, mind numbingly boring Facebook feed.

Guys. I am strapped for time as I am moving house today, so I will make this a neat and concise rant.

PEOPLE NEED TO LIFT THEIR FUCKING GAME ON THE MIND NUMBINGLY BORING FACEBOOK SHIT FEED.

I know this …

Fuck You, small but insanely painful injuries.

It wouldn’t be Friday without some kind of drama to befall your friend Far Kew. But today I am wishing that I didn’t court disaster,  for I have spent the morning at the local Dr’s surgery having actual surgery on the …

Fuck You, Daily Mail.

2016 has been a rough ride for many. As I reflect on my year and think about what I want 2017 to be, one thing comes to mind. Walk my talk. I also want to stretch myself and my mind, and not …

Fuck You, Christmas Shopping.

Oh my god. Where to fucking start. I know, Christmas shopping can suck the world’s biggest bag of dicks until it chokes on the dicks and dies a horrible death.

THE END

Just kidding, there is so much more to …

Fuck You, Elf on the Shelf.

When my first Womb Raider was born just over 4 years ago, this Elf on the Shelf phenomenon was really taking off here in Australia. You know what they are: these little stuffed toy Scout Elves that come with a …

Bye Felicia.

Good god I’ve done it again. Somehow offended some people by posting a photo of an embroidered ovary dress. Shit. 8 months down the track we still manage to pick up a few people that can take offence to the …