The exploding glitter queef. How to keep a straight face with this bizarre new vaginal suppository.

Just when I think I have seen and heard it all, another trend comes along to blow all other stupid trends out of the water. And it involves our vaginas. Again.

This time it’s called Passion Dust and is a tiny suppository filled with glitter. You jam it up the hoo-ha and once it’s “moistened” (their words not mine) by your giney juices, it releases the glitter to impress your partner.

Except it won’t. It can’t. Can it? 

Unless you have an unfortunate queef in your moment of passion, this will not be like a magical unicorn fart, but more like sparkly diarrhoea kinetic sand dribbling out of your cooch and creating a big old fucking mess.  Find the wet spot? No problem, you’ll be writhing around in this craft experiment and wondering how the hell it came to be.

The crazy part is, this company has run out of stock! People are actually dumb enough to buy this stuff.

And the awfully low-brow website and demonstration pics make me wonder if the brains behind this are drinking the kool aid. It’s some horribly fucked up shit.

What happens if you swallow it? Well, I am glad you asked. According to the website, you can just enjoy a sparkly crap the next day! *fist pump*.

And for everyone wondering what a “Yara” is, it’s an Arabic word for “little butterfly”.  Mmmm hmmmm.

Passion Dust. For when you want to leak a kinder craft session.

Passion Dust. For surprising your gyno at your next pap test.

Passion Dust. For the woman who has everything. Except for half a brain.

Earth, I’m ready to get off now.

THE END

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Wow. The last boyfriend I had thought I was kinky just for suggesting a change of position and incorporating one of HIS fantasies into our routine. I think he’d have thought I was positively a nympho if I let fly with anything like this. Plus – do these people ever think of the risk of infection?

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