I was really looking forward to this season’s Bachelor featuring the Honey Badger, Nick Cummins. But so far I’ve been left a bit cold. It’s just not grabbing my attention like the previous seasons have, though there have been a few choice contestants and TV moments that will keep me from switching off just yet.

Vanessa Sunshine.

I started out hating this one. I thought she was just another a vacant insta-whore. But boy, did she deliver at the end! Her take no shit attitude was as impressive as her resting bitch face.

The Underwater Camera from Hell

The Honey Badger’s “Freshly washed poodle” hair.

And his gratuitous shirtless opportunities.

The basic bitch. Who gave up her Kerobokan based jewellery biz for the Bachie who couldn’t give even a single fuck.

And her mate Romy who is now trying to claim she is a paid actress and not an actual asshole.

Tenielle who ate half a beehive and played it cool.

And the token stage 5 clinger.

So I guess there have been some good bits, but I am still waiting for one of them to barf at a cocktail party or accidentally tag themselves on Instagram at the Honey Badger’s hairy lair.

Will I get my wish? Probably not. But one thing is for certain, we will be hearing a lot of “I just did it for the cameras, I’m not actually a cunt in real life” statements on Kyle & Jackie O and The Project. Snore.

THE END