Fuck You, Telstra. Part 2.

I was pretty shitty to receive my Telstra bill this month seeing as I wasn’t able to use the service for a good few days during the last billing period. I had issues with the Telstra network going down like millions of others, and I also had issues with my home internet connection going down for a few days too.

But one thing made me even more shitty than I have ever been before. I noticed a few lines on my bill that had never been there previously (or so I fucking thought) from a “Third Party Provider” called Digital Turbine.

Screen Shot 2016-04-25 at 4.40.10 pm
All this at the bottom of your 6 page invoice. Assholes.

It was hidden deep down on page 6 of the essay that Telstra provide at the end of every billing cycle. Usually I cannot be fucking bothered reading the entire thing as I believed I was being billed for ACTUAL SERVICES USED.  The fuckers are charging me $9.99 a week for something I have no knowledge of ever signing up to.

A few google searches later and I find out it’s a huge scam which is allowed by all the mobile providers whereby they give your mobile number out to dodgy third party providers of all sorts of shit like ring tones, games, wallpaper etc and then bill you directly “for convenience”.

WELL. I’ve now gone back and searched through my bills only to find out this shit has been going on since FUCKING FEBRUARY and it’s added up to more than $100 already.


Then I got sent a news article by a reader from this page (thank you) proving that thousands of Telstra customers are being ripped off my this massive scam. Let me clarify something here. I have NEVER knowingly signed up to any kind of shit like this. My mobile is used for work and I’ve had the same number for over 16 years, so it’s not something I would ever do. I’ve searched for answers and apparently you can click on an advertisement while browsing the web and be signed up instantly. You won’t even know it’s happened.

I received some text messages over the past few months starting with FREEMSG which I just deleted thinking it was spam, but these were the clue into this unethical practice.

The dodgy FreeMsg that isn’t actually fucking free at all.

I called Telstra and complained about it and the dude on the phone offered to put me through to the provider so they could “refund me and send me a cheque”. This clearly happens ALL the fucking time, and it was obvious he was just reading a script. I never got through to anyone because he told me “They are getting a lot of complaints” so I was told to try again later.

Well guess what Telstra? FUCK YOU.

Fuck You for billing me for shit I never asked for and for giving my number out without my explicit permission. Fuck You for only caring about the bottom line and for trying to palm me off to some hotline that nobody ever fucking answers. Fuck You for hiding this in my bill for months like a crafty little pickpocket and expecting me not to notice. You can FUCK RIGHT OFF. I’m not paying for this and I am not sitting on hold for an hour trying to sort this out with your craptastic call centre. I don’t have time for this shit, you are simply not getting paid. YOU can call ME when you notice that I haven’t paid you and I will record the phone call for quality and training purposes. Then you’ll sit on hold for 25 minutes listening to Barbra Streisand and ads promoting colonic irrigation while I make myself a cup of shut the fuck up, which I will serve to you when I can be bothered answering. Then you can listen to ME tell you exactly what I think of your bill.

One word you piece of shit.



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Read about the last time I got dirty with Telstra.




  1. Actually this has little to do with Telstra apart from they, along with Optus and Vodafone, are the ones that are required by legislation collect and pass on these charges from ring tone scammers, 1900 calls, etc etc. They NEVER pass on your details – you, or someone with access to your phone, have subscribed from an email/text/website/app without reading the very fine print that these scam artists rely on.
    I used to work for one of the phone companies and it gets up my nose at the number of people who slag off at them for things that are nothing to do with them. Fair cop when it is their network which causes grief, by the same token it is going to have an occasional outage – technology does that. People need to get over themselves and learn to cope without a mobile or a smart phone app for a few hours once or twice a year.

    1. OK the key word here is “scammer”. If they have a way of deliberately misleading or hiding the fact you have unwittingly signed up to a service then this is called THEFT BY DECEPTION. I am 37 years old. I’m not an idiot and I never sign up for apps, emails, texts or websites that sell this sort of shit.

  2. NK – if you are supporting Telstra then you are part of the problem. Telstra and all the mobile phone companies use the same practices as these scammers (eg so much money made from overseas visitors using data at exorbitant rates until they get wise) so, of course, they can’t decry it. It is time companies were prevented from charging you for services you don’t know about or want. Get out the torches and pitchforks, people!

  3. Near Kew, I recently suffered the same fate and assure you I did not subscribe to a single service. My recent research suggests Telstra is the only Telco that still has sinlge click opt in. So when you get an annoying banner add pop up on your screen when you are not expecting it, it may in fact be the problem. This is not the users fault, this is the deceiving advertisers. When i’m scrolling through a webpage and about to strike the screen to instuct my next request, only for a pop add to appear, this is unjust. Only solution is to change to any of the other Telco’s that offer confirmed opt in i.e. ‘click ok if you are sure you want us to charge you unfounded charges and hide them in your bill for months, before you realise’.

  4. Telstra are fucking shit – the useless call centres, useless shops and useless…everything. In the last two years we have not had ONE satisfactory dealing with them. Every time we try and set something up, we have to call back because they’ve fucked it up. When I tried to setup my mobile it took six phone calls an two visits and they still stuffed it up. Just totally crap.

      1. Telstra are no more than government sanctioned criminals, you rob someone, you go to jail with a record. Telstra robs millions and the pissy government sucks their cocks. ANYBODY in australia who works (and i use the term lightly), for these crims are just as bad as each other .I have the same respect for drug dealers and armed robbers, telstra, are armed with the australian government. I would feel more pride in having a sex industry daughter than a telstra brat.

  5. Telstra can go fuck itself. The shitly company should be shame itself. the stupid Oversea call Centre can drive you crazy every single time you call them. They are hopeless and act like fucking smartass. I guess they can do this to their customer because Telstra don’t give a shit about their customers all they want to do it suck you money and privide you shit service.

  6. I think that it’s a bit of a joke that wanker media idiots say “shop around” what is the truth is that when a company states they are not telstra only to find out that you shopping around and find “boost” that turns out to be telstra! What is the point? so much for buying shares! Australian gov is just bullshitting as much as telstra. try and get some thing in writing from anyone !

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