Fuck You, Slow Walkers.

Dear Slow Walkers

I love that you like family time and feel the need to spread your entire clan six-across blocking my path. I love that you like chatting to your old school friend who you haven’t seen for ages at the top of the escalator whilst people pour off to the side of you. I love that you simply can’t decide between McDonalds or Sumo Salad in the food court and you need a group hug to calm the nerves, in a giant circle, once again blocking my path. I love that after receiving a parking fine yesterday, you threw me into further despair by walking so super slowly in front of me that I looked like I was going to win gold in Dodgeball at the fucking Rio Olympics trying to find a gap. Except Dodgeball isn’t an Olympic sport is it. Well it should be now, because I would win ALL the gold.

davidjonesslowwalker
This is a prime specimen of a slow walker with toooo much time. Note the weaving so you won’t be able to take a gap.
You are the same asshole that I see taking the travelator at the airport and then standing motionless on it with your big ass luggage beside you. You obviously didn’t wear your FitBit that day because how fucking lazy can one be? You can rename it LazyShitBit if you get on that travelator again and stand still. I bet you are also the type that hits the lift button multiple times in case it makes it go faster.

5SecondsApp

In fact, I bet it was you taking your sweet ass time crossing at the traffic lights when the red man was already flashing. Here is another flash for you sunshine. THE RED FUCKING MAN WAS FLASHING. That means you need to hurry the hell up and walk with farking purpose! You tend to pull this shit at the set of lights that only lets one or two cars through at a time.

traffic lights

Was it you that walked into the lift and then simply stopped in the doorway with your back to me, so I had to almost enter your bum hole just to squeeze myself in?

This was my face. This is what you make me do while I wait for you to work out what you’ve done.

lift

Fuck you slow walkers. Fuck your uncanny ability to make me go crazy when I’ve got the least amount of time available. Fuck your ability to weave from side to side so I look like a lunatic just trying to find my spot to pass. Fuck your paper-doll family arrangement where everyone is merrily holding hands and just loving the unity when other people have places to go. I’m not always this impatient. But when you have as little free time as me, I simply do not have the time to wait for your slow walking that only belongs on a beach. I don’t care if you found Pikachu, long lost friends or you are stopping to vape. Get the hell out of my way.

THE END

Liked it? Then like the FYF page using the big ass box below, or I’ll make you dodge my balls.

931 comments

  1. Travelators are the best. The sloths are missing out. It’s like you’re fly walking. Incredible feeling.
    Supermarket Sweep gave me anxiety. I always wanted to flat out push the empty trolley down the isle and tip the whole shelving over to fill it.

    I despise slow walkers too. So much. But I have to confess, I probs have been one. Infact I know I’ve been one and I felt the shame when the fast walker was annoyed by me. Im like, dude, sorry, I know, I deserve to die with my slow walking.
    And Neverending story 2. You cant remake that shit. The monsters were made out of cardboard and there was a silly bitch dancing in swirly cloth that really got me spitting at the tv.

    1. Exactly on the travelators! It’s like when you walk next to a train that just started moving. The best!
      They murdered The Neverending Story. I felt Batreyu’d!

  2. Yes! Far kew slow walkers! My family of five prefers a 2,1,2 combination, we husband and I each wrangle a boy (aged 3 and 5) with my daughter in between so we can keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid like fall into oncoming traffic! As an Australian living in Budapest for the past year I’d also like to give a shoutout to the tourists, Far kew with your selfie sticks and big ass cameras around your neck’s stopping all foot traffic whilst you take a million fucking selfies along the Danube river. If they haven’t deleted them already, my fat pastry filled ass (Hungarian pastries are the fucking best!) is in hundreds of tourists photos and I don’t bloody care. All I have left to say now is Bassza meg! (far kew in Hungarian!) and keep telling it like it is!

      1. Haha thanks! A good rant always makes you feel a little bit less like committing violence hahaha.

        P.S. No I’m not crazy, I was just joking about the violence… Or was I??

  3. Smooth, Brighten, Hydrate, Correct & Protect Size is 15 mL. Our eyes are simply and without equivocation our most sensitive skin and as such show first the signs of aging. It’s just not fair, not fair at all, but we can level the playing field a little bit. This is where very modern science meets Luminance Skincare in a very responsible and a very thoughtful way. And the sooner you start using one, the better. “The best time to start using an eye cream is before you think you need one,” tells Dr. Ross. “It’s easier to prevent signs of aging than correct them, so I recommend investing in an eye cream starting in your 20’s,” she says. Dr. Kraffert recommends applying an eye cream twice every day for optimal results. What We Love: Targeting crepey skin, this eye serum is clinically proven to tightening the entire eye area with consistent usage.What We Don’t Love: The serum can pill when skincare or makeup is layered atop it.
    http://ssmc21.wzdweb.com/bbs/board.php?bo_table=free&wr_id=72228
    This is my new favourite foundation. I love the skin like finish it gives and how it hydrates my skin. This is my new everyday foundation! love love love Maybelline SuperStay 24H Hybrid Powder Foundation PHONE:+961 71 68 07 17 +961 09 95 16 06 L’Oreal Paris True Match Foundation You might want to try mixing it with the other foundations that you don’t like so much.  I have a bunch of other foundations that I’ve tried over the years and while I never have found one I like better, I have mixed them all with the DW and they all mix well and adding some of the DW has made me like them more.  I’ve done this with high end and drug store foundations.  It also stretches out the time between having to buy a new bottle of the DW. They say: Introducing the NYX Professional Makeup Bare With Me Blur Tint Foundation, a medium coverage blurring foundation formulated with skin loving ingredients.

  4. Отзыв спустя 1,5 месяца. Ресницы стали длиннее, особенно заметно на нижних (у меня нависшее веко, скрывает длину верхних ресниц) Даже стала реже красить на нижние, им уже хватит) Использую на ночь каждый день, иногда пару раз в день вместо туши (цвета нет, но ресницы как под лаком держат форму) Uriage – Hyseac – Ваш идеальный уход для проблемной кожи01.11.2017 ТЦ Речной, цокольный этаж, павильон 6В г. Москва, Ленинский пр-т, 74 В ближайшее время наш менеджер свяжется с Вами, чтобы обсудить детали Питает, укрепляет слабые ресницы. Отличная база под тушь. Любая тушь подсушивает ресницы, а с этой сывороткой ресницы защищены от негативного воздействия. Резиновая счеточка. Склад: Вам не нужно оплачивать заказ на сайте. Оплата происходит при получении в удобной для вас аптеке. Вы можете оплатить заказ наличными или банковской картой.
    http://cjmihi.co.kr/bbs/board.php?bo_table=free&wr_id=33605
    Сегодня производители косметики предлагают большой выбор профессиональных и бюджетных подводок для глаз, которые различаются по консистенции, форме выпуска и цвету. Большое разнообразие декоративных средств позволяет как профессионалам, так и новичкам подобрать вариант для комфортного использования и достижения желаемого эффекта. По консистенции подводки бывают: Оставьте ваш email и мы напишем, когда цена товара снизится С другой стороны, научиться пользоваться таким средством при большом желании не так сложно, как может показаться на первый взгляд. Достаточно приложить немного усилий и терпения, чтобы правильно накрасить глаза жидкой подводкой, и вы сразу же оцените массу ее преимуществ: Новые каталоги Орифлейм Россия Подводка для глаз Catrice Ликвид – это отличный выбор для идеального макияжа глаз. Ликвид отличается специальной мягкой текстурой и насыщенной формулой. Для нанесения этой подводки для глаз предусмотрен ультра-тонкий фетровый наконечник Для идеальной оч…

  5. After reading your article, it reminded me of some things about gate io that I studied before. The content is similar to yours, but your thinking is very special, which gave me a different idea. Thank you. But I still have some questions I want to ask you, I will always pay attention. Thanks.

  6. Business intelligence software improves business margins by identifying areas where costs can be reduced, such as streamlining supply chains and optimizing inventory management. It can also determine opportunities for revenue growth, like finding high-value customers, analyzing sales trends, and developing marketing strategies. BI software enables organizations to better understand their competitors, market trends, and customer preferences, so they can promptly respond to changing market conditions. Increased Agility: It’s the best business advantages that the enterprise software application offers and permits organizations to acknowledge, recognize and respond to opportunities more quickly. They help companies address reputation management issues, supply chain disruptions, address shifts in the market and more, all from a single interface.
    https://swarte.co.kr/bbs/board.php?bo_table=free&wr_id=62593
    You and your teams have ordered 75 CCs in less than 2 consecutive calendar months. They also sell legit quality aloe vera-based products. However, they’re just downright overpriced. Top 10 Network Marketing Companies in India 1. Smart Value Products and Services Limited 2. Modicare Limited 3. Amway India 4. Vestige Marketing Private Limited 5. Mi Lifestyle Marketing Global Private Ltd 6. Oriflame 7. Herbalife Nutrition 8. Forever Living Products Private Limited (India) 9. Avon 10. That is, with direct selling and network marketing, you can make a good income in Forever Living Marketing. Only communication, marketing, and selling skills are required. Only after they settled on a marketing scheme did the two partners seek a product. Maughan was convinced that they needed to offer something expendable to encourage repeat sales. In a 1995 interview with Success magazine’s Duncan Maxwell Anderson, the Forever Living founder reflected, “Water purifiers and burglar alarms were very popular, then, but I didn’t want anything that wasn’t consumable. I was interested in health products and thought other people might be, too. But I didn’t want a me-too item like diet products, soaps, or vitamins.” Maughan found what he thought was an ideal candidate–aloe vera.

  7. It is perfect time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be
    happy. I have read this post and if I could I
    want to suggest you few interesting things or suggestions.
    Maybe you could write next articles referring to this article.
    I wish to read even more things about it!

  8. 3. Now click on the downloaded Subway Surfers file to install it and wait for the installation to complete. Are you a fan of the Subway Surfers game? If so, you’re going to love this article! In this article, we’ll be sharing Subway Surfers Mod Apk that unlocks all the characters and boards. Plus, it gives you unlimited coins and keys. So what are you waiting for? Download it now and start surfing! As you race along the subway tracks things start to move faster, and a simple miscalculation can tragically end a great streak. There are ways to beg for a second chance, but you probably aren’t going to like them; it either means watching an ad, or spending Keys (one form of in-game currency) to pick up where you left off. The more times you stumble in any one attempt, the more keys it’ll take to revive yourself. And here the game descends into the predictable micro-transactions.
    http://edumars.net/shop/bbs/board.php?bo_table=free&wr_id=33512
    Terms of Service The Google Doodle was first posted during Computer Science Education Week to honor the 50th anniversary of Logo, the first coding language designed for children. Doodle Champion Island Games is just another fun- filled addition to Google Doodle Games. The game involves the character Lucky and her adventures on the Doodle Champion Island. The game sports seven mini- games, legendary opponents, dozens of daring side quest and some new and old friends. Although the Doodle will soon be replaced on Google’s homepage, an archived version can be found here. This Google Doodle game was introduced in the year 2011 to celebrate the start of the Major League Baseball Season, and since then the game is a simulation of an actual baseball match. The players in the game play the role of a batter and try to hit as many home runs as possible.

  9. Today, I went to the beach with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it
    to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her
    ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
    She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely
    off topic but I had to tell someone!

  10. What i do not realize is actually how you are now
    not actually a lot more well-preferred than you might
    be now. You’re very intelligent. You already know thus significantly on the subject of this matter,
    produced me in my opinion imagine it from a lot of numerous angles.
    Its like men and women are not interested until it is one thing to accomplish with Girl gaga!
    Your personal stuffs nice. All the time deal with
    it up!

  11. It’s appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy.
    I’ve read this post and if I could I want to suggest you few interesting things or suggestions.
    Perhaps you can write next articles referring
    to this article. I desire to read more things about it!

  12. Thanks for your personal marvelous posting!
    I truly enjoyed reading it, you may be a great author.
    I will make certain to bookmark your blog and will come back down the road.
    I want to encourage continue your great job, have a nice weekend!

  13. Thanks for any other magnificent post. The place else could anyone get that type of info in such an ideal manner of writing?
    I have a presentation subsequent week, and I am
    on the look for such info.

  14. You made some really good points there. I looked on the web to
    learn more about the issue and found most people will go along
    with your views on this web site.

  15. You could definitely see your skills within the work you write.
    The arena hopes for more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid
    to mention how they believe. Always go after your heart.

  16. Every weekend i used to pay a visit this web page, as i wish for enjoyment, for the reason that
    this this site conations really nice funny material too.

  17. excellent put up, very informative. I’m wondering why the other specialists of this sector don’t understand this.
    You must proceed your writing. I’m sure, you’ve a huge readers’ base
    already!

  18. No matter if some one searches for his required thing, therefore he/she desires to be available that in detail,
    so that thing is maintained over here.

  19. I really love your website.. Great colors & theme.
    Did you build this amazing site yourself? Please reply back as
    I’m hoping to create my very own site and would like to know where you got this
    from or just what the theme is named. Many thanks!

  20. Unquestionably believe that which you said. Your favourite justification seemed to be on the internet the
    easiest thing to have in mind of. I say to you, I definitely get irked whilst other people think about
    issues that they just don’t realize about. You managed
    to hit the nail upon the highest and also defined out the whole thing without
    having side effect , folks could take a signal. Will
    likely be back to get more. Thank you

  21. I believe everything posted made a bunch of sense.
    However, what about this? suppose you were to write a killer headline?
    I mean, I don’t wish to tell you how to run your blog, however suppose
    you added a headline that makes people want more? I mean Fuck You, Slow Walkers.
    – Fuck You Friday is a little vanilla.
    You ought to peek at Yahoo’s home page and note how
    they create post titles to get viewers interested. You might
    add a video or a picture or two to get people interested
    about everything’ve got to say. In my opinion, it would
    make your posts a little bit more interesting.

  22. Magnificent items from you, man. I have take into account your
    stuff prior to and you are just extremely magnificent. I actually like what you’ve acquired right here, certainly like what you are stating and
    the way during which you are saying it. You’re making it enjoyable and you still take care of to keep it sensible.

    I cant wait to read much more from you. This is actually
    a great site.

  23. Greetings, There’s no doubt that your blog could be having
    web browser compatibility problems. Whenever I take a look at your web site in Safari, it looks fine however, when opening in Internet
    Explorer, it’s got some overlapping issues. I just wanted to provide you with a quick heads up!
    Other than that, wonderful site!

  24. Thank you for some other fantastic article. The place else may just anyone get that type of information in such an ideal way of writing?
    I’ve a presentation next week, and I’m on the search for such info.

  25. Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your web site and in accession capital to assert
    that I acquire actually enjoyed account your blog posts.

    Anyway I’ll be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access consistently rapidly.

  26. Hey there! Someone in my Facebook group shared this website with us so
    I came to take a look. I’m definitely loving the information. I’m book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers!

    Fantastic blog and outstanding style and design.

  27. Do you mind if I quote a couple of your posts as long as
    I provide credit and sources back to your webpage?

    My website is in the very same area of interest as yours and my users would genuinely benefit from some of the information you provide here.
    Please let me know if this okay with you. Cheers!

  28. Моментально возводимые здания: финансовая польза в каждой детали!
    В современной сфере, где время равно деньгам, экспресс-конструкции стали реальным спасением для экономической сферы. Эти новейшие строения включают в себя устойчивость, финансовую выгоду и молниеносную установку, что позволяет им отличным выбором для разных коммерческих начинаний.
    Быстровозводимые каркасные здания из металлоконструкций
    1. Высокая скорость возвода: Время – это самый важный ресурс в коммерции, и экспресс-сооружения дают возможность значительно сократить время строительства. Это значительно ценится в вариантах, когда актуально оперативно начать предпринимательство и начать извлекать прибыль.
    2. Экономия средств: За счет усовершенствования производственных процессов элементов и сборки на месте, финансовые издержки на быстровозводимые объекты часто бывает ниже, по отношению к традиционным строительным проектам. Это способствует сбережению денежных ресурсов и достичь большей доходности инвестиций.
    Подробнее на http://www.scholding.ru
    В заключение, экспресс-конструкции – это оптимальное решение для предпринимательских задач. Они включают в себя эффективное строительство, экономию средств и высокую прочность, что сделало их первоклассным вариантом для предприятий, готовых начать прибыльное дело и выручать прибыль. Не упустите шанс экономии времени и денег, оптимальные моментальные сооружения для вашего следующего проекта!

  29. You are so awesome! I don’t think I’ve truly read through
    anything like this before. So nice to discover another person with some genuine thoughts on this
    subject matter. Really.. thanks for starting this up.
    This web site is one thing that’s needed on the web, someone with a little
    originality!

  30. Эффективное термоизоляция внешних стен — комфорт и экономическая эффективность в вашем жилье!
    Согласитесь, ваш загородный дом заслуживает выдающегося! Изоляция обшивки – не всего лишь решение для сбережения на отоплении, это вложение в комфорт и долговечность вашего коттеджа.
    ✨ Почему изоляция с нами-мастерами?
    Опытность: Специалисты нашей компании – компетентные. Наш коллектив заботимся о каждом элементе, чтобы обеспечить вашему коттеджу идеальное изоляция.
    Стоимость услуги утепления: Мы все ценим ваш бюджетные возможности. Стоимость утепления фасада дома под ключ – от 1350 руб./кв.м. Это вложение в ваше приятное будущее!
    Энергосберегающие технологии: Забудьте о потерях тепла! Наша технология не только сохраняют тепловое уюта, но и дарят вашему коттеджу новый уровень теплосбережения энергоэффективности.
    Превратите свой домашний интерьер комфортным и стильным и привлекательным!
    Подробнее на http://n-dom.ru/

    Не передавайте свой загородный дом на волю случая. Доверьтесь специалистам нашей компании и создайте комфорт вместе с нами-мастерами!

  31. We absolutely love your blog and find a lot
    of your post’s to be exactly what I’m looking for. Do you
    offer guest writers to write content available for you? I wouldn’t mind publishing a post or elaborating on many of the subjects you
    write about here. Again, awesome weblog!

  32. Very good blog! Do you have any hints for aspiring
    writers? I’m planning to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost on everything.

    Would you suggest starting with a free platform like
    Wordpress or go for a paid option? There
    are so many options out there that I’m completely
    overwhelmed .. Any recommendations? Thank you!

  33. Забота о жилье – это забота о приятности. Термомодернизация фасадов – это не только стильный внешний вид, но и обеспечение тепла в вашем уютном уголке. Специалисты, группа специалистов, предлагаем вам превратить ваш дом в прекрасное место обитания.
    Наши работы – это не просто теплоизоляция, это творческий процесс с каждым элементом. Мы осуществляем идеальному балансу между эстетикой и функциональностью, чтобы ваше жилище превратилось не только уютным, но и привлекательным.
    И самое важное – приемлемые расходы! Мы полагаем, что высококачественные услуги не должны быть сверхдорогими. Утепление стен снаружи цена за м2 начинается всего от 1250 руб/кв. метр.
    Современные технологии и качественные материалы позволяют нам создавать теплоизоляцию, которая долго служит и надежна. Прощайте холодным стенам и дополнительным тратам на отопление – наше утепление станет вашим надежной преградой перед холодом.
    Подробнее на ppu-prof.ru/
    Не откладывайте на потом заботу о радости жизни в вашем жилье. Обращайтесь к профессионалам, и ваш дом станет настоящим архитектурным искусством, которое согреет вас не только теплом. Вместе мы создадим пространство, в котором вам будет по-настоящему удобно!

  34. Heya i’m for the primary time here. I found this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out a lot. I am hoping to present something again and help others like you helped me.

  35. Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely neatly written article.

    I will make sure to bookmark it and return to read extra of your helpful info.
    Thank you for the post. I will definitely return.

  36. The other day, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a
    25 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation.
    My iPad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know
    this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  37. Definitely believe that which you stated. Your favourite reason seemed to be at the net the simplest factor to have in mind of.
    I say to you, I certainly get irked while
    other folks think about issues that they plainly
    do not recognize about. You controlled to hit the nail upon the top and outlined out the whole
    thing without having side-effects , folks could take a signal.

    Will likely be back to get more. Thank you

  38. Уважаемые Клиенты!
    Представляем вам новаторское моду в мире дизайна внутреннего пространства – шторы плиссе. Если вы аспирируете к отличию в всей странице вашего жилища, то эти перила превратятся великолепным подходом для вас.
    Что делает шторы плиссе такими неповторимыми? Они совмещают в себе в себе элегантность, действенность и сущность. Благодаря эксклюзивной архитектуре, современным субстанциям, шторы плиссе идеально гармонизируются с для какого угодно пространства, будь то стая, ложе, плитка или трудовое место.
    Закажите жалюзи плиссе на пластиковые окна – совершите уют и превосходство в вашем доме!
    Чем завлекают шторы плиссе для вас? Во-первых, их особый образ, который прибавляет к шарм и изысканность вашему месту. Вы можете выбрать из разных текстур, оттенков и процедур, чтобы отметить индивидуальность вашего дома.
    Кроме того, шторы плиссе предлагают массивный спектр функциональных вариантов. Они могут контролировать уровень света в помещении, остерегать от солнечного света, поддерживать конфиденциальность и формировать комфортную среду в вашем жилище.
    Наш веб-сайт: https://www.tulpan-pmr.ru
    Мы сами поможем вам выбрать шторы плиссе, какие замечательно подойдут для вашего интерьера!

  39. Thank you for every other informative website. The place else may I am getting
    that kind of information written in such an ideal way?
    I’ve a venture that I’m simply now operating on, and I
    have been on the glance out for such info. I saw similar here: ecommerce and also
    here: sklep online

  40. Наша команда опытных специалистов приготовлена предоставить вам инновационные подходы, которые не только подарят надежную защиту от прохлады, но и подарят вашему коттеджу элегантный вид.
    Мы деятельны с новейшими средствами, заверяя долгий время службы и замечательные итоги. Теплоизоляция облицовки – это не только экономия на обогреве, но и трепет о природной среде. Энергоспасающие технические средства, какие мы применяем, способствуют не только своему, но и сохранению природы.
    Самое основополагающее: Стоимость утепления дома снаружи цена у нас стартует всего от 1250 рублей за квадратный метр! Это доступное решение, которое переделает ваш помещение в действительный уютный уголок с минимальными расходами.
    Наши проекты – это не только изоляция, это постройка территории, в котором любой член отразит ваш личный стиль. Мы возьмем во внимание все все твои пожелания, чтобы осуществить ваш дом еще дополнительно уютным и привлекательным.
    Подробнее на http://www.ppu-prof.ru
    Не откладывайте занятия о своем помещении на потом! Обращайтесь к экспертам, и мы сделаем ваш помещение не только согретым, но и стильным. Заинтересовались? Подробнее о наших сервисах вы можете узнать на веб-ресурсе. Добро пожаловать в универсум спокойствия и качественного исполнения.

  41. Мы эксперты специалистов по SEO-оптимизации, специализирующихся на повышении посещаемости и рейтинга вашего сайта в поисковых системах.
    Наша команда гордимся своими успехами и расширим ваш кругозор нашим опытом и знаниями.
    Какие услуги мы предоставляем:
    сео сайта цена
    • Полный аудит вашего сайта и создание индивидуальной стратегии продвижения.
    • Повышение эффективности контента и технических аспектов вашего сайта.
    • Постоянное отслеживание результатов и анализ вашего онлайн-присутствия с целью его совершенствования.
    Подробнее https://seo-prodvizhenie-ulyanovsk1.ru/
    Уже сейчас наши клиенты получают результаты: увеличение трафика, улучшение рейтинга в поисковых системах и, конечно, увеличение прибыли. Мы можем предоставить вам бесплатную консультацию, для обсуждения ваших потребностей и разработки стратегии продвижения, соответствующей вашим целям и бюджету.
    Не упустите шанс улучшить свои результаты в интернете. Свяжитесь с нами прямо сейчас.

Leave a Reply to Kath Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.