Fuck You, Slow Walkers.

Dear Slow Walkers

I love that you like family time and feel the need to spread your entire clan six-across blocking my path. I love that you like chatting to your old school friend who you haven’t seen for ages …

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. Travelators are the best. The sloths are missing out. It’s like you’re fly walking. Incredible feeling.
    Supermarket Sweep gave me anxiety. I always wanted to flat out push the empty trolley down the isle and tip the whole shelving over to fill it.

    I despise slow walkers too. So much. But I have to confess, I probs have been one. Infact I know I’ve been one and I felt the shame when the fast walker was annoyed by me. Im like, dude, sorry, I know, I deserve to die with my slow walking.
    And Neverending story 2. You cant remake that shit. The monsters were made out of cardboard and there was a silly bitch dancing in swirly cloth that really got me spitting at the tv.

    1. Far Kew says:

      Exactly on the travelators! It’s like when you walk next to a train that just started moving. The best!
      They murdered The Neverending Story. I felt Batreyu’d!

  2. Kath says:

    Yes! Far kew slow walkers! My family of five prefers a 2,1,2 combination, we husband and I each wrangle a boy (aged 3 and 5) with my daughter in between so we can keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid like fall into oncoming traffic! As an Australian living in Budapest for the past year I’d also like to give a shoutout to the tourists, Far kew with your selfie sticks and big ass cameras around your neck’s stopping all foot traffic whilst you take a million fucking selfies along the Danube river. If they haven’t deleted them already, my fat pastry filled ass (Hungarian pastries are the fucking best!) is in hundreds of tourists photos and I don’t bloody care. All I have left to say now is Bassza meg! (far kew in Hungarian!) and keep telling it like it is!

    1. Kath says:

      P.S. So glad I found your blog!

    2. Far Kew says:

      I think I might love you. Epic rant!

      1. Kath says:

        Haha thanks! A good rant always makes you feel a little bit less like committing violence hahaha.

        P.S. No I’m not crazy, I was just joking about the violence… Or was I??

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