Fuck You, Pokémon Go.

Uncategorised 210 comments

I wanted to hate this. There was a certain amount of validation in my refusal to download the game that millions of people were going nuts for in the space of a few days.  I scoffed as my friend showed her Pokédex to the burger shop to get us a discount. I even posted this meme below, to prove to everyone that there was life beyond these pocket monsters in augmented reality. I couldn’t believe so many people were quite literally being driven Zubatshit crazy by a stupid app. It was madness!

13592813_698748420277726_3831118065250069139_n

Then I downloaded it.

Why, you ask? Well, this is difficult to answer. The Husband let our 3 year old catch a Pokémon in Bunnings and she acted like it was the best thing she’d ever done. Can you imagine what that is like for a little kid? She thought it was real. I was pissed for a bit, but then I thought I would just get it and prove to myself that it was a ridiculous pile of shit, only good for curing the world of stupid people walking into traffic and off cliffs. Because god damn it, we need less stupid people in this world, it’s natural selection.

I turned it on and there was a MOTHERFUCKING POKEMON IN MY FRICKING KITCHEN.  I chucked the little ball at it’s head and POW! I caught a Pokémon! I pressed my lips together and tried really fucking hard not to smile.

Later that day I had to go and post a parcel, so I went to the mall and turned on the game. Lo and behold the Post Office was a Poke stop!!! Free balls!! I handed my parcel over for scanning and then threw a ball at the cashiers face because there was a Zubat flying right in front of her! I was so amazed I didn’t even realise how stupid I must have looked as I frantically threw ball after ball in her direction with my face contorting from the concentration required.

Now that I had figured it out a bit, I had to do a whole lot of walking to the next Poke stop to get my free balls. By the time I came home I was already on level 3 and totally loving it. I was able to hide this new addiction from The Husband for a couple of days, until we went to IKEA to stock up on crap for the new house. IKEA is FULL of Pokémon. And since you have to walk 45 kms to get around that joint anyway, you may as well play and get a heap of rare ones. Fuck the STUVA and the ANTILOP and the POÄNG. It’s all about the STARYU and the MACHOP and the BULBASAUR.

Things I hate about Pokemon Go.

  1. It’s addictive. You WILL want to beat your neighbour to the rare ones and you will wonder if you left any good ones behind at IKEA.
  2. It makes your phone go flat.
  3. It’s addictive.
  4. It takes too long to load and freezes all the time.
  5. It’s super addictive.
  6. My house is full of Zubats and they piss me off. But I guess it’s better than Rats, or should I say…..Rattatas!
  7. Loads of Poke stops are Churches. Why not the pub?
  8. It’s really addictive.
  9. I wasted some incense in my bed one night to see what it did and only caught about 5 shit Pokémon in half an hour.  Fuck you.
  10. My name is Far Kew, I am 38 years old and I’m addicted to Pokémon Go.

Things I love about Pokemon Go.

  1. I can bribe my children with it. I was having trouble with the 3 year old at bedtime until I promised her if she went the fuck to sleep she could catch a Pokémon in the morning. Evil fucking genius.
  2. I have chatted to complete randoms in the street hunting Pokémon. It’s so nice to have that connection with humanity with all the terrible stuff going on in the world right now.
  3. Companies are using it to attract customers and I LOVE a good bargain. Especially if it means 20% off a burger. More money for beer.
  4. I can tell everyone I went to the gym three times in a day and sound really fit.

Yeah. This Pokémon Go thing is a stroke of bloody genius. It remains to be seen what will happen with it next, but I am finding the whole thing fascinating. And I’m done with bagging it, there is too much good that outweighs the bad. I can’t really see a problem with kids getting more exercise and talking with people who the game has brought together. Can you?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to find Pikachu.

THE END.

Liked it? Then like the Fuck You Friday page if you haven’t already, or I’ll kick you in the Pokéballs.

210 comments

  1. Haha. I downloaded it because the curiosity overcame me. In the rare moments when no-one will catch me playing in public or if my husband is driving the car somewhere, I will have a go. I don’t think I’ve touched the app in weeks now. I am clearly doing the whole addiction thing wrong. I think it’s because I can’t admit that I think it’s kind of fun. Like I had so much dignity to protect anyway. Ha.

    Reply

  3. But the shot has definitely screwed my entire body up big time and I pray I can reverse that nolvadex To examine risk factors before the hyperkalemia index date, one comparison patient without hyperkalemia was matched to each corresponding patient with hyperkalemia on the index date, according to sex, age, calendar time, and time since first HF admission

    Reply

  5. Hi this is somewhat of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors
    or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding know-how so I wanted
    to get guidance from someone with experience. Any help would be enormously
    appreciated!

    Reply

  7. I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here.
    The sketch is tasteful, your authored material stylish.
    nonetheless, you command get got an edginess over that you wish be delivering
    the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this
    increase.

    Reply

  11. The fully diluted market cap of Bitcoin BTC is $539,708,535,939, which reflects the total market value of the project after all issued tokens, including those held by the public, founders, team members, investors, and the project treasury, become available for public trading. This metric can be used as a predictive indicator of the asset’s future market capitalization. Thank you for entering your email! While anyone can access these transactions, Bitcoin works through pseudonymous addresses. This means that while anyone can see the transaction occurred – meaning address A sent BTC to address B – often only the sender and receiver know who’s behind each address. The key you provided is not a data visualization key and/or has been revoked. Please use a different key.
    https://zaneuurp296396.blogstival.com/38898111/buy-btc-with-credit-card
    Binance. “Buy Altcoins Instantly: New Cryptocurrencies.” The stellar growth, volatility and financial innovation currently seen in the crypto-asset ecosystem, as well as the rising involvement of institutional investors, show how important it is to gain a better understanding of the potential risks that crypto-assets could pose to financial stability if trends continue on this trajectory. Systemic risk increases in line with the level of interconnectedness between crypto-assets and the traditional financial sector, the use of leverage and lending activity. It is important to close regulatory and data gaps in the crypto-asset ecosystem to mitigate such systemic risks. Crypto pioneer and VC offered $1 million to 1,000 tweets that best expose stealth financial crisis disguised in banking bailout.

    Reply

  12. Популярная немецкая модель, эффективно прогревающая массируемые части тела. Массаж производится в виде энергичного похлопывания. Функционал прибора очень широк: 4 программы массажа, 5 скоростей, 2 насадки. Ручка прибора эргономична и не скользит в руке. Прибор удобен и для самомассажа и для массажа другим людям. Поделитесь своими впечатлениями Телефон: 8 499 553-01-78 (с 9:00 до 19:00 ) LL KEIKO отличается особой компактностью и удобным эргономичным дизайном. Обеспечивает видимый лифтинг-эффект всего за 10 минут в день. Имеет 3 уровня интенсивности процедур. Идеально подходит для работы с кожей вокруг глаз. Работает от аккумулятора. Завершая рейтинг лучших микротоковых массажеров, стоит отметить, что лучше отдавать предпочтение многофункциональным устройствам от проверенных надежных брендов, поэтому стоит присмотреться к таким моделям, как ReadySkin neoSkin, Gezatone m1610, Splando.
    https://dev.mytlc.ca/community/account/9641dccclxxxvi4/
    Если вы берете фломастер в руки впервые в жизни, рекомендуем для начала потренироваться выводить линии карандашом для глаз, создавая своеобразный эскиз, а сверху покрывать их стойким лайнером. Перед использованием несколько раз встряхните упаковку. Продукт в удобной тубе, похож на тушь для глаз. Объема 2,5 мл хватит на 3-4 месяца постоянного использования. Не бойтесь наносить каждый день — средство протестировано офтальмологами и не представляет угрозы зрению. Единственное, что устраивает не всех, силикат алюминия в составе. Мы рекомендуем продукт для ярких вечерних выходов, когда нужно блистать во всей красе. Гелевая подводка-фломастер с тонкой кисточкой Любимая подводка №2. Аппликатор с одной стороны – классический, с заостренным кончиком, с другой – в виде лопатки, им невероятно удобно рисовать стрелки. Похоже на вождение с инструктором: управляешь ты, но в случае чего – тебя подстрахуют. Как ни рисуй, линия получается ровной.

    Reply

  13. I am a website designer. Recently, I am designing a website template about gate.io. The boss’s requirements are very strange, which makes me very difficult. I have consulted many websites, and later I discovered your blog, which is the style I hope to need. thank you very much. Would you allow me to use your blog style as a reference? thank you!

    Reply

  14. I have read your article carefully and I agree with you very much. This has provided a great help for my thesis writing, and I will seriously improve it. However, I don’t know much about a certain place. Can you help me?

    Reply

  16. The leaders of South Korea and Japan will hold a summit next week, Seoul officials said Thursday, days after South Korea announced a major step toward resolving strained bilateral ties stemming from Tokyo’s colonial rule of the Korean Peninsula. President Yoon Suk Yeol is to visit Japan from March 16-17 at the invitation of the Japanese government. Crypto is one of the biggest ecosystems in the cryptocurrency space. Here are a few key facts about Crypto: Whether you’re an experienced trader or just getting started, Gemini has all the tools you need. Execute your trading strategies with the professional level crypto trading platform, ActiveTrader. Coinbase has a large selection of cryptos to trade with over 100 different assets available. Like Crypto, Coinbase is also set to launch its own NFT marketplace later this year. Coinbase is a publicly traded company on the NASDAQ index, and is available for use in over 100 different countries around the world.
    http://www.gangtan.co.kr/bbs/board.php?bo_table=free&wr_id=135346
    “Outstanding solution for accepting crypto payments, very easy to integrate.” Aside from its ‘all-encompassing’ approach, the company provides round-the-clock tech support and assists in marketing activities to help businesses attack crypto traffic.  It’s really easy to integrate B2BinPay crypto payment gateway into your current operations or launch it as a new service. Forward us your request, proceed with the integration and you’re ready to offer your customers Bitcoin (BTC), Ether (ETH), Ripple (XRP), Bitcoin Cash (BCH), Litecoin (LTC) and a whole range more as a payment method! If your crypto business has a requirement to “cash-out” and make payments to consumers who are based in Europe, then CoinAcquiring has an incredibly low cost SEPA based payment account solution for merchants looking to make real time wire transfers within the European Union.

    Reply

  17. Hey There. I discovered your blog the usage of msn. This is a very neatly written article.
    I will be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your helpful info.

    Thanks for the post. I will definitely comeback.

    Reply

  19. When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four e-mails with the same comment.
    Is there any way you can remove me from that service?
    Many thanks!

    Reply

  20. Have you ever thought about creating an e-book or guest authoring on other sites?
    I have a blog centered on the same topics you discuss and would really like to have you
    share some stories/information. I know my audience would value your work.
    If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to send
    me an e-mail.

    Reply

  30. I have been exploring for a bit for any high-quality articles or weblog
    posts in this sort of area . Exploring in Yahoo I ultimately stumbled upon this web site.

    Reading this information So i’m happy to show that I’ve an incredibly good uncanny feeling I discovered just what I needed.
    I so much no doubt will make certain to do not disregard this web site and provides
    it a glance regularly.

    Reply

  34. I was wondering if you ever considered changing the layout of your site?
    Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could
    a little more in the way of content so people could connect
    with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having
    one or 2 pictures. Maybe you could space it
    out better?

    Reply

  35. Unquestionably believe that which you stated. Your
    favorite reason appeared to be on the web the simplest
    thing to be aware of. I say to you, I definitely get
    irked while people consider worries that they just do
    not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side effect
    , people could take a signal. Will likely be back to get more.

    Thanks

    Reply

  36. Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the pictures on this blog
    loading? I’m trying to figure out if its a problem on my end or if
    it’s the blog. Any feed-back would be greatly appreciated.

    Reply

  40. I was recommended this blog through my cousin. I’m no longer certain whether or not
    this put up is written via him as no one else understand such designated approximately my trouble.
    You are wonderful! Thank you!

    Reply

  41. I’d like to thank you for the efforts you’ve
    put in penning this website. I really hope to see the same high-grade content from you later on as well.
    In fact, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my own blog now 😉

    Reply

  43. I every time used to study paragraph in news papers but
    now as I am a user of internet thus from now I am using net
    for articles, thanks to web.

    Reply

  46. Undeniably consider that which you said. Your favorite justification seemed to be on the web the easiest thing to take note of.
    I say to you, I definitely get annoyed whilst
    other people consider issues that they plainly don’t recognise about.
    You managed to hit the nail upon the highest as well as defined out the whole thing without having side-effects ,
    folks can take a signal. Will likely be back to
    get more. Thanks

    Reply

  47. What’s up everyone, it’s my first go to see at this web site, and paragraph is really
    fruitful for me, keep up posting such articles or reviews.

    Reply

  51. With one winner per round, at the end of the 2022 season, each and every winning moment will then be pitted against one another, with the fans again voting for their absolute favourite on-track move of the season – and with that driver being crowned the 2022 Crypto Overtake King. Copyright © 2018 – 2023 Crypto. All rights reserved. Crypto Defi Wallet The safest cryptocurrency exchange in Mexico is Capital. They strictly enforce bank-level security protocols, run on servers in secure locations around the world, and undergo frequent financial and security audits to ensure all of their users’ assets are completely safe. They also have some of the lowest fees of any platform in Mexico and are known for being a reputable, trustworthy exchange. With one winner per round, at the end of the 2022 season, each and every winning moment will then be pitted against one another, with the fans again voting for their absolute favourite on-track move of the season – and with that driver being crowned the 2022 Crypto Overtake King.
    https://www.pure-bookmark.win/smart-moon-crypto
    As Bitcoin’s adoption has grown over the years, more people have likely begun wondering how Bitcoin works. Bitcoin is a decentralized cryptocurrency that operates on its own blockchain (the Bitcoin blockchain) secured and run by a vast global network of participants. It is a borderless asset that can be traded and transacted fractionally. Safeguarded by its open-source code, Bitcoin’s 21 million maximum coin supply makes the asset scarce and deflationary, unlike the U.S. dollar. Financial Instruments & Investments As of today, July 10, 2023, the cryptocurrency market is presenting some fascinating figures, particularly for Bitcoin, the premier and most recognized digital currency. With a market capitalization of approximately $587 billion and a 24-hour trading volume nearing $5.2 billion, Bitcoin continues to dominate the cryptocurrency market with a 48.2% share.

    Reply

  52. Hi would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re using?

    I’m going to start my own blog soon but I’m having a hard
    time making a decision between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
    The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and I’m looking
    for something unique. P.S My apologies for getting
    off-topic but I had to ask!

    Reply

  56. I’ve been browsing online more than 4 hours today, yet I never
    found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty
    worth enough for me. In my view, if all web owners and bloggers made good content as you did,
    the web will be much more useful than ever before.

    Reply

  91. I am extremely impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your blog.

    Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Anyway
    keep up the excellent quality writing, it is rare to see a great blog
    like this one nowadays.

    Reply

  96. You actually make it appear so easy with your presentation but I in finding this
    topic to be really one thing which I think I’d never understand.

    It sort of feels too complex and very broad for me.
    I’m looking forward on your subsequent publish, I’ll
    attempt to get the hold of it!

    Reply

  103. To check Poodl Token’s price live in the fiat currency of your choice, you can use Crypto’s converter feature in the top-right corner of this page. While these predictions can be useful in informing your investment decisions, it’s important to remember that they are just predictions. The cryptocurrency market is notoriously unpredictable and subject to sudden changes. There are many risks associated with investing in any cryptocurrency, including Poodl Token. It’s always a good idea to do your own research, seek advice from experts, and only invest what you can afford to lose. Be careful and make informed decisions. hotbit.io exchange?symbol=POODL_USDT The buy tax of POODL is 0. 1%. This is one of the lowest buy taxes among all crypto exchanges, which makes it an attractive option for crypto traders. POODL also offers discounts for larger trades, such as 0.075% for trades above $10,000, 0. 0675% for trades above $50,000, and 0. 05% for trades above $100,000. Additionally, customers can use the POODL Rewards Program to get up to an additional 10% discount.
    https://www.ntos.co.kr/bbs/board.php?bo_table=free&wr_id=6580295
    Your assets are secured with your preferred hardware or mobile wallet. Note: Crowdwisdom360 collates Predictions and data from all over the net and has no in-house view on the likely trends in the Stocks or Crypto Coins. Please consult a registered investment advisor to guide you on your financial decisions. Sologenic is a solution primarily based on the XRP blockchain network that tokenizes assets and property from a wide range of TradFi and disruptive marketplaces. The objective of the project is to bridge the gap between the old world of traditional finance and the new world of cryptocurrencies by tokenizing the economy and allowing traders to use crypto assets in whatever way they see fit. Automatic ordersThe app buys and sells your cryptos for you.

    Reply

  105. Excellent goods from you, man. I’ve have in mind your stuff previous
    to and you’re simply too great. I really like what you’ve
    bought here, really like what you are saying and the way
    wherein you assert it. You’re making it enjoyable and you continue to take
    care of to stay it sensible. I can’t wait to read much more from you.
    This is really a terrific web site.

    Reply

  107. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was curious what all is
    required to get set up? I’m assuming having a
    blog like yours would cost a pretty penny?
    I’m not very web savvy so I’m not 100% positive.
    Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated.
    Cheers

    Reply

  111. Fantastic blog! Do you have any helpful hints for aspiring writers?
    I’m planning to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost on everything.
    Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option?
    There are so many options out there that I’m completely confused ..

    Any suggestions? Thanks a lot!

    Reply

  129. I’m no longer sure the place you’re getting your information, but good topic.
    I needs to spend a while studying more or figuring out more.
    Thank you for excellent info I was on the lookout for this information for my mission.

    Reply

  132. Its like you learn my mind! You seem to grasp so much approximately this,
    such as you wrote the e-book in it or something. I think that you could do with a few p.c.
    to force the message house a bit, however instead of that, this
    is magnificent blog. An excellent read. I’ll definitely be back.

    Reply

  150. Please let me know if you’re looking for a author for your
    site. You have some really good posts and I believe I would
    be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load
    off, I’d absolutely love to write some content for your blog in exchange for a link
    back to mine. Please shoot me an e-mail if interested.
    Many thanks!

    Reply

  170. I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself
    or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz
    respond as I’m looking to construct my own blog and would like to find out where u got this from.
    thanks a lot

    Reply

  197. Hey would you mind letting me know which web host you’re using?
    I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different internet browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot faster then most.

    Can you recommend a good hosting provider at a honest
    price? Thank you, I appreciate it!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.