Fuck You, Married at First Sight.

This show is ruining my life!!! Not since the ALDI special buys have I become so addicted to something so bad for me.

This is the first season I have ever watched, and BOY has it delivered the goods.  So why is it so addictive? Well, the producers have given us a real cross-section of humanity to live vicariously through, with explosive results.

They’ve given us a villain so unbelievable she makes Cersei Lannister look kind.

And a normal woman who actually wanted a husband but got loaded with someone who liked to play dead.

Credit: Flawlessvision

But that didn’t stop the awesome Jo from enjoying the honeymoon she thought he was enjoying too….at the time….

They gave us Visionz. Which we wish we could give back.

Credit: Flawlessvision (no relation to Visionz)

 

And they even gave us a human soft serve. Who likes women who like boats, but doesn’t yet own a boat.

If I sit here for long enough, maybe the guy who really does own this boat will die.

 

 

They gave us Jessica Rabbit in actual human form.

I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.

And the very real possibility of Wogorigines. And some weird table dancing….

They found the next Bachelor. With the worst poker face in the entire world.

Seriously. The WORST poker face in the entire world.

And even a Gelfling Queen.

 

Who had to put up with the love child of Jim Carrey and Dr Chris Brown…..

Alrighty then….

Then there was the guy who has slept with over 200 women but wouldn’t sleep with his own wife. But then he did. And told her he wasn’t that into her. Smooth.

I’m in hook line and sinker, I simply cannot look away. The Husband hates me because I am in a trance four nights a week, but this sort of shit doesn’t come along every day. It’s car crash telly at its very finest.

And I don’t even want to think how much wine I’ve been drinking to accompany each episode. It can’t be much…..

Fuck You Married at First Sight, you are simply TOO good. Real or not real we are lapping it up like the puppets that you know we are, being not-so-gently lead along with each new storyline. It’s SICK. You are showing Australia the very best and worst of relationships and serving it up on a golden ratings plater which I am ashamed to admit I’m powerless to resist.

FUCK YOU (can’t wait until Sunday).

THE END

Join my spin-off facebook group Far Kew’s TV Trash Talk for all things MAFS and soon to be Bachie in Paradise. WOOT.

And get your Tracey inspired “Hit It & Quit It” Mug in my shop Far Kew Emporium

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29 Comments Add yours

  1. Kerry Walls says:

    OMG, that’s exactly how I feel, I have never watched MAFS before, but when I’m not watching the show, I’m obsessing over the posts on Facebook, or rewatching and counting how many weirdo lip licks Tracey does in the space of 3 minutes (10 by the way) and home psycho analysing Devilina. I’m totally addicted, this is like Dash cam on relationships, bring on Sunday night

  2. Heidi says:

    I’m not even trying to be slack but Carley also looks a lot like the grinch! Has anyone else thought that?!!

  3. Kelsbells says:

    OMG these comparisons are bang on! Love it! I’m totally trapped into an obsession with this show too…eep

  4. Tot says:

    I only started watching it this year because my friend is in it. I am also loving it! I am a bit pissed off with the way the producers have made my friend look, they’re not at all like they’ve been portrayed! I wish they’d have shown the deleted footage of “that swingers night”, why leave out the good shit that keeps us watching!?!?

    1. Belle says:

      Oohh which friend ???

  5. Belle says:

    Lol i love this this is how i feel i kiterally cannot wait for the nites its on and nites its not i feel so deflated 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  6. Thelma Asbury says:

    Absolutely LOVING it!!! Missed the first series as I thought it was a load of bullshit but HOOKED when I started watching the second series. Even though it’s probably heavily edited and contrived, it’s an interesting look at human nature. I’m sure we all know at one person in our lives who mirrors one of the cast.

  7. Rachel says:

    OMG I haven’t laughed so hard whilst eating breakfast in at least 20 years lol loved this!!!

  8. Sarah says:

    HIlarious! This is the best. Exactly how I feel about the show. Can’t get enough of the shit!

  9. Ngaere says:

    Was my first year watching too….i feel like i need rehab or something im so damn addicted yet disgusted with myself!!!

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