Fuck You Married At First Sight 2019

Holy shit, they’ve done it again! I didn’t think anything could top last years shit show, but it happened. Am I’m fucking thrilled to bits.

We have a villain that makes Davina look like Bambi.

Yeah. Nah.

Who couldn’t care less about hubby doing these ones at breakfast


And a Kardashian-Jenner hybrid.

Made in Instagram Heaven

Who singlehandedly made a part of her new husband freeze.

Just throw some cold water on it bro.

They unearthed a Country Boy.  Who looks genuinely confused to be there.

One minute I was tending to my cat on 5 acres, the next minute I was here.

Who got inexplicably paired with Jessika.

I don’t know what is going on.

But she did give us some brotherly jail bait!

Don’t drop the soap bro. Those tatts won’t save you.

They gave us Lizzy.

I eat toaster pizza for breakfast.

Who wasn’t about to take shit from the Ken Doll.

Just get me some handbag biscuits.
That five minutes where Australia doesn’t realise you are a giant prick.

We even got Australia’s first reality TV virgin.

Dryer than rooting a box of kitty litter.
My scared penis is that way.

But Wife Lauren was up for the challenge of releasing the load.

Rise that not-so-wild salami girlfriend.

There is an update on Sarah & Telv. Who might just stay together!


They are so cute they even made a silent disco look adorable.

Rhubarb, Rhubarb, Rhubarb.

We got a hilarious Filipino-Aussie Bride.

Is that your brother pointing a gun in my face or are you just pleased to see me?

Who had a moment after swearing in front of the food.

I just said fuck it, I don’t like fucking salad mum! FUUUUCCCCCKKKKK.

And a guy who fancies himself as a bit of Magic Mike.

Sweat from my balls.

And after banging 20 somethings in hostels for years, is ready to settle down.

Like, whatever.

Which means sadly for wifey Heidi, he will be running to the nearest YHA after the show ends.

I can’t believe I pissed in a cup for this guy.

Then there is Ning.

Who clearly is not going to get Mark to finally say “I Love You” to a woman.

Sphincter says what?

And Dino. The Zen Master of Calm™

Namaste mother fuckers.
Relax. It’s a pose called the Tea Bag.

Who is tasked with getting Melissa to fly her freak flag once more.

I can feel it down in my plums.

What more could we want? It’s a fiesta of crazy and it’s every bit as nuts as the last season. I’m so excited I just need to decompose!

I’m now glued to my TV screen four nights a week for the next few months and I’m proud to say I don’t care.  Who knew that such a terrible idea could turn into such thrilling viewing?

Fuck You Married at First Sight, you are simply TOO good. Real or not real we are lapping it up like the puppets that you know we are, being not-so-gently lead along with each new storyline. It’s SICK. You are showing Australia the very best and worst of relationships and serving it up on a golden ratings plater which I am ashamed to admit I’m powerless to resist.

FUCK YOU (can’t wait until Sunday).


Join my spin-off facebook group Far Kew’s TV Talk for all things MAFS and the live blog during each show.

And check out my store Far Kew Emporium, full of hilarious novelty gifts.



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  12. Hey, how’s it going?

    I want to pass along some very important news that everyone needs to hear!

    In December of 2017, Donald Trump made history by recognizing Jerusalem as the capital of Israel. Why is this big news? Because by this the Jewish people of Israel are now able to press forward in bringing about the Third Temple prophesied in the Bible.

    Jewish Rabbis have publicly announced that their Messiah will be revealed in the coming years who will be a leader and spiritual guide to all nations, gathering all religions under the worship of one God.

    Biblical prophecy tells us that this Jewish Messiah who will take the stage will be the antichrist “who opposes and exalts himself above all that is called God or that is worshiped, so that he sits as God in the temple of God, showing himself that he is God” (2 Thessalonians 2:4). For a time he will bring about a false peace, but “Therefore when you see the ‘abomination of desolation,’ spoken of by Daniel the prophet, standing in the holy place (Matthew 24:15)…then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been since the beginning of the world until this time, no, nor ever shall be” (Matthew 24:21).

    More importantly, the power that runs the world wants to put a RFID microchip in our body making us total slaves to them. This chip matches perfectly with the Mark of the Beast in the Bible, more specifically in Revelation 13:16-18:

    “He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

    Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666.”

    Referring to the last days, this could only be speaking of a cashless society, which we have yet to see, but are heading towards. Otherwise, we could still buy or sell without the mark amongst others if physical money was still currency. This Mark couldn’t be spiritual because the word references two different physical locations. If it was spiritual it would just say in the forehead. RFID microchip implant technology will be the future of a one world cashless society containing digital currency. It will be implanted in the right-hand or the forehead, and we cannot buy or sell without it. Revelation 13:11-18 tells us that a false prophet will arise on the world scene doing miracles before men, deceiving them to receive this Mark. Do not be deceived! We must grow strong in Jesus. AT ALL COSTS, DO NOT TAKE IT!

    “Then a third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, “If anyone worships the beast and his image, and receives his mark on his forehead or on his hand, he himself shall also drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out full strength into the cup of His indignation. He shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment ascends forever and ever; and they have no rest day or night, who worship the beast and his image, and whoever receives the mark of his name” (Revelation 14:9-11).

    People have been saying the end is coming for many years, but we needed two key things. One, the Third Temple, and two, the technology for a cashless society to fulfill the prophecy of the Mark of the Beast.

    Visit http://WWW.BIBLEFREEDOM.COM to see proof for these things and why the Bible truly is the word of God!

    If you haven’t already, it is time to seek God with all your heart. Jesus loves you more than you could imagine. He wants to have a relationship with you and redeem you from your sins. Turn to Him and repent while there is still hope! This is forever…God bless!


    We all know God exists. Why? Because without Him, we couldn’t prove anything at all. Do we live our lives as if we cannot know anything? No. So why is God necessary? In order to know anything for certain, you would have to know everything, or have revelation from somebody who does. Who is capable of knowing everything? God. So to know anything, you would have to be God, or know God.

    A worldview without God cannot account for the uniformity and intelligibility of nature. And why is it that we can even reason that God is the best explanation for this if there is no God? We are given reason to know or reject God, but never to know that He does not exist.

    It has been calculated by Roger Penrose that the odds of the initial conditions for the big bang to produce the universe that we see to be a number so big, that we could put a zero on every particle in the universe, and even that would not be enough to use every zero. What are the odds that God created the universe? Odds are no such thing. Who of you would gamble your life on one coin flip?

    Is there evidence that the Bible is the truth? Yes. Did you know that the creation accounts listed in the book of Genesis are not only all correct, but are also in the correct chronological order? That the Bible doesn’t say the Earth was formed in six 24-hour days but rather six long but finite periods of time? That the Bible makes 10 times more creation claims than all major “holy” books combined with no contradictions, while these other books have errors in them? The Bible stood alone by concurring with the big bang saying, “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth” (Genesis 1:1); and says our universe is expanding, thousands of years before scientists discovered these things. Watch a potential life-changing video on the front page of http://WWW.BIBLEFREEDOM.COM with Astronomer(PhD) Hugh Ross explaining all these facts based on published scientific data. He has authored many books, backed even by atheist scientists.

    Jesus came to pay a debt that we could not; to be our legal justifier to reconcile us back to a Holy God; only if we are willing to receive Him: “For the wages of sin is death…” (Romans 6:23).

    God so loved the world that He gave us His only begotten son, so that whoever believes in Him, through faith, shall not perish, but have everlasting life. Jesus says if we wish to enter into life to keep the commands! The two greatest commands are to love God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind; and your neighbor as yourself. All the law hang on these commands. We must be born of and lead by the Holy Spirit, to be called children of God, to inherit the kingdom. If we are willing to humble ourselves in prayer to Jesus, to confess and forsake our sins, He is willing to give the Holy Spirit to those who keep asking of Him; giving us a new heart, leading us into all truth!

    Jesus came to free us from the bondage of sin. The everlasting fire was prepared for the devil and his angels due to disobedience to God’s law. If we do the same, what makes us any different than the devil? Jesus says unless we repent, we shall perish. For sin is the transgression of the law. We must walk in the Spirit so we may not fulfill the lusts of the flesh, being hatred, fornication, drunkenness and the like. Whoever practices such things will not inherit the kingdom (Galatians 5:16-26). If we sin, we may come before Jesus to ask for forgiveness (1 John 2:1-2). Evil thoughts are not sins, but rather temptations. It is not until these thoughts conceive and give birth by our own desires that they become sin (James 1:12-15). When we sin, we become in the likeness of the devil’s image, for he who sins is of the devil (1 John 3:8); but if we obey Jesus, in the image of God. For without holiness, we shall not see the Lord (Hebrews 12:14).

    The oldest religion in the world is holiness through faith (James 1:27). What religion did Adam and Eve follow before the fall? Jesus, Who became the last Adam, what religion does He follow? Is He not holy? He never told us to follow the rituals and traditions of man but to take up our cross and follow Him (Luke 9:23). There are many false doctrines being taught leading people astray. This is why we need the Holy Spirit for discernment. Unlike religion, holiness cannot be created. It is given to us from above by the baptism of the Spirit. Jesus is more than a religion; He is about having a personal relationship with the Father. Start by reading the Gospel of Matthew, to hear the words of God, to know His character and commandments. Follow and obey Jesus, for He is the way, the truth, and the life!

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