Holy shit, they’ve done it again! I didn’t think anything could top last years shit show, but it happened. Am I’m fucking thrilled to bits.
We have a villain that makes Davina look like Bambi.
Who couldn’t care less about hubby doing these ones at breakfast
And a Kardashian-Jenner hybrid.
Who singlehandedly made a part of her new husband freeze.
They unearthed a Country Boy. Who looks genuinely confused to be there.
Who got inexplicably paired with Jessika.
But she did give us some brotherly jail bait!
They gave us Lizzy.
Who wasn’t about to take shit from the Ken Doll.
We even got Australia’s first reality TV virgin.
But Wife Lauren was up for the challenge of releasing the load.
There is an update on Sarah & Telv. Who might just stay together!
They are so cute they even made a silent disco look adorable.
We got a hilarious Filipino-Aussie Bride.
Who had a moment after swearing in front of the food.
And a guy who fancies himself as a bit of Magic Mike.
And after banging 20 somethings in hostels for years, is ready to settle down.
Which means sadly for wifey Heidi, he will be running to the nearest YHA after the show ends.
Then there is Ning.
Who clearly is not going to get Mark to finally say “I Love You” to a woman.
And Dino. The Zen Master of Calm™
Who is tasked with getting Melissa to fly her freak flag once more.
What more could we want? It’s a fiesta of crazy and it’s every bit as nuts as the last season. I’m so excited I just need to decompose!
I’m now glued to my TV screen four nights a week for the next few months and I’m proud to say I don’t care. Who knew that such a terrible idea could turn into such thrilling viewing?
Fuck You Married at First Sight, you are simply TOO good. Real or not real we are lapping it up like the puppets that you know we are, being not-so-gently lead along with each new storyline. It’s SICK. You are showing Australia the very best and worst of relationships and serving it up on a golden ratings plater which I am ashamed to admit I’m powerless to resist.
FUCK YOU (can’t wait until Sunday).
THE END
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