Fuck You, Marriage Inequality.

I am sick of waiting for marriage equality. I am tired of hearing about this stupid plebiscite and l want a Prime Minister who can lead with big brass balls (or a golden vagina) to allow a free vote in parliament.

Australia is the only first world English speaking country that does not have marriage equality


I have been waiting eight long years to marry my partner, we have even picked our celebrant and photographer through Equally Wed
 for our wedding on an unknown date. You try planning your wedding without a date, it’s Bridezilla multiplied by five! It’s been an extremely frustrating cluster-fuck of a journey with our government, and here’s a timeline of why.

2004: John Howard became Prime Minister and changes the Marriage Act to specifically refer to marriage being “The union between and man and a woman”. Well, fuck you too.

2007: Mr Kevin07, Kevin Rudd takes over. We know he likes Weetbix and his entrepreneurial wife Therese. He seems alright, for a while. But soon enough we learn we have another Prime Minister who is opposed to marriage equality. More waiting….he doesn’t hear us… another fuck you.

Heterosexual celebrities can get divorced after 72 hours of marriage, but same-sex marriage will ruin my life.

2010: Julia Gillard steals the top job. An atheist who was in a relationship, not married and did not believe in marriage equality due to her “conservative upbringing”. Another long wait and a big “up yours” from Julia. Fuck you too, for taking your sweet time in deciding if your 70’s values were actually sane thoughts.

2013: Kevin Rudd makes a come back for a whole three months. He declares that he agrees same-sex couples should be allowed to wed, so long as churches and religious institutions don’t have to marry them. He became the first serving Australian Prime Minister to publicly support same-sex marriage, but do you think any progress was made? Nope. More waiting….neeeeexxxt.

kevin-rudd-launches-gay-marriage-campaign_embedded_0

2013: Tony Abbott pretty much paddled out of his amateur Iron Man contest and straight into Parliament, seemingly with qualifications he got out of a Cornflakes box. Abbott trained as a Roman Catholic seminarian, so any hope just went down the toilet bowl for another 3 years (or so we thought). It didn’t even help that his sister Christine Forster, his own flesh and blood who had left her marriage of 20 years to be with a woman, is gay. 

abbottboatsgays-1o-sioster-570

2015: Malcolm Turnbull topples Tony Abbott in yet another spill and we all run to the kitchen to stock the fridge with champagne. It’s the first time we have had a Prime Minister and an Opposition leader who agrees with marriage equality. Woo hoo…

Credit: The Australian Newspaper.

But we are still waiting….

Although Malcolm Turnbull was ‘elected’ by the people with the slimmest of margins that was tighter than a cats arsehole, he puffs his chest and prances around parliament stating he is ALL FOR marriage equality. He says he would vote for it, but you fuckers will only get marriage equality if you endure a plebiscite. Oh, and we will provide $7.5M for the Australian Christian Lobby ‘s hate filled campaign.

This is a cats asshole.
This is a cats asshole.

First of all, I don’t recall voting on whether your marriage should be legal, so why are people allowed to vote on mine? Secondly, why are religious institutions controlling the government, demanding a plebiscite, wanting tax payers money to fund their hate campaigns? This is not a religious fight. We are talking about civil rights that should be implemented without question. And thirdly, Malcolm, why the fuck don’t you stand up and be the leader I thought you were. Why the fuck is your party leading YOU?

And why do you think you can play political football with my life?

 

WTAF
WTAF
Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your husband...because they're marrying everybody out here.
Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your husband…because they’re marrying everybody out here. And it’s not a “Mirage” either you tool.

The world keeps asking what we will do when we can get married, and l am fucking sick of explaining it because l just want to get married.  But if you must know the details (pretty standard love and commitment stuff really), have a read of our story.  And anyone out there who is questioning if same-sex marriage should be legalised, have you any doubt now after reading this? Do you think we will ruin the planet? 

stevegary1
Gary & Steve, busy ruining the planet.

With 78% of Australians now agreeing with Marriage Equality, why are we wasting $175M on a non-binding plebiscite, hate campaigns and potentially putting young LGBTQI people in a harming environment?

JUST GET IT FUCKING DONE.

Fuck You, marriage inequality for making us feel like we don’t count.  I don’t remember voting in a plebiscite to amend the marriage act in the first place (thanks John Howard), so why should we have one this time?  Fuck You to the Australian Government for wanting to waste millions on a pointless vote that is non-binding.  And a special Fuck You to Tony Fucking Abbott for suggesting a plebiscite in the first place! Just allow same-sex marriage and let the games begin. Think of the boost to the economy just in champagne sales alone! The glitter! The flamingos! The doggy tuxedos! The BRIDEZILLAS!

Why are we even still talking about this? I’m over it.

flamingobrides

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE END

About the authors. This special Fuck You Friday post was co-written by my very good friends Gary, Steve, Goliath and Jezebel.  And I want to go to their fucking wedding.

If you are planning your same sex wedding, check out Marry Me Gay.

Sign up to get the latest fucking updates!

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Becky says:

    Fuck you marriage inequality indeed!! Well said guys, thanks for he great read. Sorry our government is so shit, I’m all for fabulous weddings. It will happen eventually, lets hope it’s not going to cost us a shit tin that would be SO better spent on helping the less fortunate.

  2. Great words Far Kew. One of my closest mates is gay and he’s past wanting to campaign or promote the marriage equality cause, he’s just too tired of it now. Which is very sad.
    It’s why I wrote my current blog about amending the homophobia level of Sydney’s North Shore, from within!
    Things have to change.

    1. Far Kew says:

      It’s a good one! Loved it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *