I cannot make friends with you. I just can’t.
I’ve tried eating you in salads, juicing you and making chips out of you.
Recently I had a “Super Food Salad” from a local cafe and got lock jaw halfway through.

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. I actually like Kale chips but I can’t afford to eat them. And it makes juice taste like dirt. I hear you on the Japanese food. My kids love the stuff and and I almost pass out every time I pay the bill. And they have to have a second lunch or dinner an hour or two later. Sex hippies are probably the only people who can afford to eat like this because they charge so much for their classes and sponsored but not declared posts.

  2. Cath79 says:

    How did you manage to get access to my brain, fish out every single one of my pet hates and then wordsmith it into the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time? Fuck you for being 100x funnier and more eloquent than me. Ps I can’t wait to read what you have to say about D.Trump

  3. Trish says:

    I’m a virgin! You are the first blogger I have followed. Keep the entertainment coming. It’s my Friday today …. So happy Fuckin Friday ♥️♥️♥️

  4. Mel says:

    Seriously THANK YOU. You’re bloody hilarious I haven’t laughed this hard in a long long time!!!

    I’ve just read all your posts and shared them with about 20 friends. You made my week sister!!

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