Fuck You, Easter Chickens.

It’s Fuck You Friday! YEAH!!

Fuck you to these little fluffy chicken things. My 4 year old got given one by a friend at his Kindy, and let’s just say it caused all sorts of drama at Chateau Farks over the past couple of days.

My 6 year old decided it needed to be hers. Like, immediately. And she’s smart, she takes after her mother, so she’s exceptionally bright. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
She started negotiating with him to get this chick and make it hers. She tried all sorts of tactics to get him to release the cute little yellow bundle of fluff, but he wasn’t having any of it.

OH. MY. CHRIST. Did we have a meltdown.

There were tears, there was screaming, there was stuff being chucked at me and doors being slammed. I couldn’t believe it. Over a flipping chicken.

I decided I would play the long game. I ignored the drastic behaviour and completely blanked her until she eventually came to her 6 year old senses and kinda forgot about the little creature and got on with her evening.

Until this morning.

Her brother had relinquished the little chick and she was dancing with glee for a good half an hour, until he decided he wanted it back.

HOLY HELL. I WANTED TO DIE.

Does anyone else want to drown themselves in a bucket because of the noise from multiple kids first thing in the morning? I mean, you’ve only just had your morning cuppa and it’s World War III.
It’s too loud, it’s too grating, and it’s all I can do to stop putting them both on gumtree for a bargain.

Easter can go and suck a big fat bag of dicks. And so can the chicks. Try explaining to a hysterical and emotional end-of-term 6 year old that losing your shit over a bit of fucking fluff is not really a good use of your time.

GIVE ME STRENGTH. 6 going on 26. And I’m screwed.

THE END

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