I read a post by DaDMuM yesterday. He went on a bit of a rant about how unglamorous blogging can be and all the associated shit that comes along with it. He NAILED it. It was like he was inside my head for a little bit.
Far from being a glamorous well-paid activity, blogging can be a really fucking hard thing to do. Firstly, most bloggers don’t do it for a living, so you have to somehow fit it in with all the other stuff like a “real” job, kids, family and friends and LIFE. It’s not easy. It’s even less easy when you simply CBF and feel like you “need” to be writing something because you haven’t in a while.
Then there are the haters and the keyboard warriors. The absolute WORST part of the whole gig. Let’s start with the haters. They might have started out as a “fan”, but somewhere along the way, you did something to annoy them. Or they just straight up hated you from the start. They will either aggravate you by trolling or in my case not just fuck off completely when I ban them from the page but continue screengrabbing my posts and bitching about me in private groups. If you are REALLY unlucky you end up on GOMI (don’t google it, it’s gross).
Keyboard warriors are a bit different. They like to debate things loudly that you maybe share a different opinion to, which is fine sometimes, but usually descends into a shitstorm that requires deletion before I get a little smashy fisty. But then you are accused of shutting people’s opinions down.
Sorry, I didn’t realise I invited you into my home to shit on my rug.
The thing is, I quite enjoy tearing people a new one, but you can never “win”. So while I’d be feeling all smug and vindicated, what’s really happening is I am just wasting my time and never really getting anywhere. These people are professional asshats and they thrive on being complete turds. My haters will argue that this very blog post is feeding the situation because they think I am a “narcissistic cunt”.
See what I mean about never winning? You can’t say a fucking thing without someone tearing you down.
“Ignore the haters” everyone says. Anyone that says that has never had haters. It’s something that you gradually get used to over time. And I’m a strong woman, I can see why many other bloggers just shut down completely. This is exactly why I do not post pictures of my children’s faces (I did this once) or tell you anything about The Husband. I’m sorry I can’t share their cuteness with you, because you’d be getting many more stories if I did. But I made this choice and I’m sticking to it, the internet is just cruel. I can take it but they shouldn’t have to.
I am at my best when I am angry and have had a wine. That’s when I get really excited about writing and couldn’t care less about what people think of me. But those days seem to be a bit less frequent of late, why? Read above. You simply can’t say a damn thing without someone having a whinge. Ironically about me having a whinge, the whole point of my blog. Hilarious. Is there anyone or anything that I haven’t offended yet?
I’m getting better at ignoring the idiots, but it’s such an unnatural thing to have to get used to. Without social media, I wouldn’t have a blog. And without social media, I wouldn’t know about people who don’t like me because they wouldn’t be around to make a song and dance about it. Certainly, nobody would have the balls to approach me in the street and tell me I am shit.
Then there are the physical insults. In case my writing isn’t bad enough! I’ve been called a man-hating lesbian (because short hair equals gay), a dude, a young Asian boy that needs a nose job and apparently I also look like DJ Otzi. I’ve been called a cunt, an appaling mother (actually they said I was appauling) a dole bludging alcoholic and too many other amazing things to mention.
They miss the sarcasm. They miss the ironic cats bum selfie. They miss the fact that many of them look like they walked straight out of People of Wallmart and really need a spell checker and a fucking mirror.
But this post isn’t really about that unsavoury part of the world of online writing, this post is about the flip side. The community that is built on common ground. The hilarious comments and the honest stories from people that come along for the ride. There would be no blog without your feedback and encouragement, there just wouldn’t. You’d give up bothering if nobody was reading your stuff.
I love knowing that there are people out there that share a similar sense of humour and appreciate my ramblings. I’m really just trying to have a laugh and sharing my frequent fuck ups with the wider world. My life might not look pretty, but it is real and I think we all need a bit more real in our lives, don’t you think?
So thanks, DaDMuM for nailing that post about blogging. But don’t ever give up, because once you’ve reached a certain point there will always be more haters and trolls and keyboard warriors, but the 99% of awesome rad and like-minded people that stick with you despite your misgivings are the ones that matter most.
THE END (my haters hate that too)