Fuck You, Anti Vaxxers.

This has been a long time coming. I’m always nice when it comes to the anti science brigade because I figure being dismissive isn’t that helpful. But it’s Friday, and in the spirit of Fuck You Friday, and in light of some of the most scoff worthy rhetoric surfacing from the lunatic fringe deep in the bowels of the internet I have to say something.


Look, I know some of you parents out there are confused and some may even be acting on bad information. I totally get that for some people vaccination is terribly scary and they don’t know who to listen to once the fear mongering starts. If that’s you, then take a seat, because I’m not referring to you. I’m after the big guns. The Tennpenneys, Mercolas, and Blaylocks. The internet conspiracy crusaders who perpetuate this utter crap because – and this is the really important part – they fucking make money out of spreading misinformation that endangers kids lives.

Here’s precisely how their toxic influence spreads , because batshit crazy people pass it along as legitimate.

For instance, earlier this week, a wackaloon called “Modern Alternative Mama”  (apparently “Batshit Crazy Mama” was already taken by Meryl Dorey) posted an article called “Five Reasons Why Measles Is Better Than Autism.” Judging from her page, this woman has a long track record of spouting more conspiracy theories than a Donald Trump campaign rally. (We’ll get to him in just a bit).

And these people are batshit crazy. I actually came across a conversation between antivaxxers on a Facebook page where the fools were arranging marriages between their teenage children because they didn’t want them marrying the vaccinated who might pressure them into following accepted medical protocol and – sit down for this bit – their grandchildren might inherit their damaged vaccinated DNA. Also, autism something something.

At this point, anyone with a shred of common sense and respect for science understands that vaccines are not linked in any way, shape or form to autism. But the Tin Foil Brigade not only continues to try to make the link, they continue to fear monger about autism at the same time. Here’s an idea: Spend less time searching for paleo party bags and steaming your vagina in non fluoridated water and more time reading blogs by and talking to people who are actually autistic. Maybe you will learn that the baseless pseudoscience garbage you are spewing is hate speech.

When a Cheezel-coloured fuck-knuckle like Donald Trump joins your cause, you know you are on the wrong side of history.


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Fuck you, too, to the enablers who allow this anti-vax misinformation to flourish without calling bullshit. Hear those cries?! Those are the sounds of science teachers everywhere, saying, “I can’t believe she passed along a vaccine meme from David ‘Avocado” Wolfe!” “I can’t believe he cited Mercola.com as a source!” “Are they out of their MINDDs?!”



Fuck you Avocado (not the fruit, it’s healthy and delicious), and Evans and Food ‘Babe’. Fuck you anyone that gleefully profits from selling something we know to be false and dangerous. Fuck you for scaring decent parents into questioning their GPs who actually know better. Fuck you for thinking that your ‘research’ on google can be compared in the same conversation as the actual research performed in a lab by actual qualified scientist who get the scientific method and have actually studied for half their lives to make sure they get their findings right. Won’t somebody please think of the poor spotty scientists locked away in laboratories for the good of humanity?

Fuck you to the most deranged members who attack parents of children who have died from or who are fighting vaccine preventable diseases. Just this week, a Sydney family came under fire from anti-vax lunatics while their baby girl was fighting for her life. And who can forget how viciously baby Riley’s parents have been attacked since losing their precious newborn baby boy to whooping cough? Too bad there isn’t a vaccine to cure epic douchery.

And all you crunchy kale eating himalayan salt lamp loving mofos that look at us like we’re shooting heroin into our eyeballs when we vaccinate our kids or don’t shop organic or give our kids Panadol. Fuck you for telling us with a condescending smile that natural is always better. You know what’s fucking natural? Polio, Tuberculosis and small pox. Not to mention dying from a slight chill at the age of 37 because antibiotics haven’t been invented yet.

And while we’re at it, a simple thank you would be enough. I vaccinate my kids and so do most other people, and that means that your kids are more likely to be safe even though their parents think they know better than all the smartest doctors and scientists in the world, all the major health authorities and even Dr Karl. So the teeny tiny risk that I take for my children, (about 1 in 3,000,000 according to the CDC and even then a full recovery is likely), actually saves your kids from deadly disease despite the fact that you won’t.

So until you offer your sincerest thanks for our efforts and deepest apologies for making money out of putting kids at risk, I’m not going to be nice and calm and rational in discussing all the ways you are selfish and clueless and ethically bankrupt. Fuck you.


About the author

Kate Parker is a writer, science lover and Violet Crumble enthusiast. She writes about anything and everything from vaccination to parenting, filling in the gaps with a healthy dose of satire. Kate is joined by an anonymous friend who lives and breaths autism acceptance and who spends more time than she would like battling pseudoscience bullshit that scares and misleads.

You can follow her blog The Online Watercooler here.



Vaccines Don’t Cause Autism, But That’s Not The Point. Stop Being Ableist.

Vaccination – The Referenced Facts

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  1. My younger brother had a reaction to one of his immunisations as a baby. He stopped breathing in his sleep and suffered severe brain damage as a result. And even I have immunised my own children. Come on people!

    1. Honest question: how do you know that what happened to your brother was in any way related to his immunization?

    2. My younger brother had a reaction that caused brain damage too- and I co wrote this article! Hope he’s well Nicola.

      1. Wait a minute… You have a relative who suffered brain damage from immunizations, but fuck people who are skeptical of immunizations?

        Skepticism is not crazy. Arranging marriages based on obviously false information is. Stop lumping these people into the same category.

        1. Reread the article – I didn’t say fuck skeptics. I said fuck people who knowingly spread false information that endangers the lives of children for profit.

          The fact that my brother had a reaction meant when I had my own children, ( and before we knew why he had the reaction, information that has only just come to light recently), I had to find out everything I could about vaccination. I had lengthy conversations with my OB and GP, my OB read through his patient files to get genetic reports and other medical information.

          Being skeptical is a good thing. Knowing who to trust with your skepticism is even better. In the end, the anti vaccination lobby always comes down to a grand conspiracy theory – it has to because all the medical research done so far does not fall their way and neither does the global medical consensus. And like most people, I am far more skeptical of people like Joe Mercola, who has an huge finical interest in anti vaccination, than I am of the entire medical fraternity, most of whom do not live in mansions in the Hollywood Hills.

    1. Credit to Kate Parker from The Online Watercooler. She wrote the piece with another anonymous mum of an autistic daughter.

      1. Well Kudos to the writers. I have a kid with organ transplant and has had chemo, so vaccines are so important for our world!!

  2. You did well, and I really thank you. FoodBabe stirred up a lot this week on this topic, and as a pro-vax mama I found myself explaining herd immunity so many times (“but if you’re vaccinated, why do you care if I’m not?” Because I listened for 35 seconds to the simple science of vaccines and am not a selfish dick who won’t do her civic duty). And then I tried to defend neurodiversity, but that was also like talking to rubber mannequins

    Anyway, I’m trying to say this helped and thank you!

  3. We can now add Dr Rachel from the TV show “The Doctors.” It seems she watched “Vaxxed”, and has forgotten everything she learned in medical school and residency in favor of ‘seeing the light.’ Excuse me while my head explodes in rage.

    1. Unfortunately, there’s a lot more money in anti vaccination and niche marketing than there is in actual medicine. Another one bites the dust!

  4. Hahaha this article is actually a joke as if you did your research you would know that there is paediatricians, gps and university professors who are helping to spread the word about the damage vaccines iare doing to our bodies. Autoimmune diseases new strains of illnesses definitely isn’t coming from not vaccinating our children it is coming from injecting them with chemicals and known carcinogens that aren’t even aloud to be put in food yet they are aloud to be injected into our bodies. It is the government and big pharma who pay people to spread the word at how amazing vaccines are not the other way around you absolute fool!

    1. So you don’t understand the difference between allowed and aloud, yet you think you know better than all the doctors and researchers in the world regarding vaccines?

      1. You were so kind in your assessment of their ability to effectively communicate! Between the lack of proper punctuation, poor spelling, and terrible grammar, I’m really not certain what they were trying to say. Something about “toxinzzz”, I think!

      2. You are the fool,if you had half a brain you would know that BIG PHARMA would make more money treating the disease than preventing it. Do you want to go back to the days when 400 plus died per year from measles just in the U.S.A and many thousands suffered life long injuries,

    2. Do me (and yourself) a favour and learn how to spell before you type rants like this. Your ignorance of the English language speaks volumes. I might be more willing to pay attention and consider your point if you used correct spelling and grammar. Instead, you just proved how ignorant and uneducated you truly are. Sad.

    3. Oh yes the chemikillz. You get that water is a chemical right? You are made of chemicals. Everything is chemicals. Not to take away from the whole pharma conspiracy thing, but they didn’t invent chemicals.

    4. Seriously? You *seriously* believe that? I’ve always wondered what exactly anti-vaxers believe is the motive of “Big Pharma” and the “Government” in all of this. If you really want to get down to the conspiracy and quest for extra money argument, I’ve got to tell you that the worst way to get money out of someone is the kill them. Or cripple them in such a way that they are unable to make enough money to be worth taking away from them.

      I actually work for “Big Pharma” and the “Government” as an immunologist, and you could not be any more wrong in suggesting that I do it for the money – there *is* no money in the field. There’s critically low funding for research – even if that research could be used to suck more money into “Big Pharma”. I could be earning twice as much as I do as a research science.

      I’m not doing this for the money. No one in the field is doing it for the money. We’re doing it because we want to help lessen the suffering of others.

      Also, autoimmune diseases are not new strains of illnesses. I know, because I have one. And, you know, I actually know how immunology works, given I have a PhD in it. Suggesting that they are new strains of microbes is incredibly insulting and insensitive to people who have them. You’re basically saying that it’s their fault that their body is literally trying to kill them.

      But I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt in this one. If you can give me a scientific explanation as to how and why autoimmune diseases are caused by new strains of microorganisms, back up your claims in detail, and reference data from peer reviewed scientific journal (preferable with an Impact Factor of 2 or greater), I will change my opinion on the matter.

      Because that’s what science is all about; the adaptation of understanding based on new evidence.