This has been a long time coming. I’m always nice when it comes to the anti science brigade because I figure being dismissive isn’t that helpful. But it’s Friday, and in the spirit of Fuck You Friday, and in light of some of the most scoff worthy rhetoric surfacing from the lunatic fringe deep in the bowels of the internet I have to say something.
FUCK YOU ANTI VAXXERS.
Look, I know some of you parents out there are confused and some may even be acting on bad information. I totally get that for some people vaccination is terribly scary and they don’t know who to listen to once the fear mongering starts. If that’s you, then take a seat, because I’m not referring to you. I’m after the big guns. The Tennpenneys, Mercolas, and Blaylocks. The internet conspiracy crusaders who perpetuate this utter crap because – and this is the really important part – they fucking make money out of spreading misinformation that endangers kids lives.
Here’s precisely how their toxic influence spreads , because batshit crazy people pass it along as legitimate.
For instance, earlier this week, a wackaloon called “Modern Alternative Mama” (apparently “Batshit Crazy Mama” was already taken by Meryl Dorey) posted an article called “Five Reasons Why Measles Is Better Than Autism.” Judging from her page, this woman has a long track record of spouting more conspiracy theories than a Donald Trump campaign rally. (We’ll get to him in just a bit).
And these people are batshit crazy. I actually came across a conversation between antivaxxers on a Facebook page where the fools were arranging marriages between their teenage children because they didn’t want them marrying the vaccinated who might pressure them into following accepted medical protocol and – sit down for this bit – their grandchildren might inherit their damaged vaccinated DNA. Also, autism something something.
At this point, anyone with a shred of common sense and respect for science understands that vaccines are not linked in any way, shape or form to autism. But the Tin Foil Brigade not only continues to try to make the link, they continue to fear monger about autism at the same time. Here’s an idea: Spend less time searching for paleo party bags and steaming your vagina in non fluoridated water and more time reading blogs by and talking to people who are actually autistic. Maybe you will learn that the baseless pseudoscience garbage you are spewing is hate speech.
When a Cheezel-coloured fuck-knuckle like Donald Trump joins your cause, you know you are on the wrong side of history.
Fuck you, too, to the enablers who allow this anti-vax misinformation to flourish without calling bullshit. Hear those cries?! Those are the sounds of science teachers everywhere, saying, “I can’t believe she passed along a vaccine meme from David ‘Avocado” Wolfe!” “I can’t believe he cited Mercola.com as a source!” “Are they out of their MINDDs?!”
Fuck you Avocado (not the fruit, it’s healthy and delicious), and Evans and Food ‘Babe’. Fuck you anyone that gleefully profits from selling something we know to be false and dangerous. Fuck you for scaring decent parents into questioning their GPs who actually know better. Fuck you for thinking that your ‘research’ on google can be compared in the same conversation as the actual research performed in a lab by actual qualified scientist who get the scientific method and have actually studied for half their lives to make sure they get their findings right. Won’t somebody please think of the poor spotty scientists locked away in laboratories for the good of humanity?
Fuck you to the most deranged members who attack parents of children who have died from or who are fighting vaccine preventable diseases. Just this week, a Sydney family came under fire from anti-vax lunatics while their baby girl was fighting for her life. And who can forget how viciously baby Riley’s parents have been attacked since losing their precious newborn baby boy to whooping cough? Too bad there isn’t a vaccine to cure epic douchery.
And all you crunchy kale eating himalayan salt lamp loving mofos that look at us like we’re shooting heroin into our eyeballs when we vaccinate our kids or don’t shop organic or give our kids Panadol. Fuck you for telling us with a condescending smile that natural is always better. You know what’s fucking natural? Polio, Tuberculosis and small pox. Not to mention dying from a slight chill at the age of 37 because antibiotics haven’t been invented yet.
And while we’re at it, a simple thank you would be enough. I vaccinate my kids and so do most other people, and that means that your kids are more likely to be safe even though their parents think they know better than all the smartest doctors and scientists in the world, all the major health authorities and even Dr Karl. So the teeny tiny risk that I take for my children, (about 1 in 3,000,000 according to the CDC and even then a full recovery is likely), actually saves your kids from deadly disease despite the fact that you won’t.
So until you offer your sincerest thanks for our efforts and deepest apologies for making money out of putting kids at risk, I’m not going to be nice and calm and rational in discussing all the ways you are selfish and clueless and ethically bankrupt. Fuck you.
About the author
Kate Parker is a writer, science lover and Violet Crumble enthusiast. She writes about anything and everything from vaccination to parenting, filling in the gaps with a healthy dose of satire. Kate is joined by an anonymous friend who lives and breaths autism acceptance and who spends more time than she would like battling pseudoscience bullshit that scares and misleads.
You can follow her blog The Online Watercooler here.
STOP SCARE MONGERING ABOUT AUTISM. SOME LIGHT READING AVAILABLE IN THE LINKS BELOW. (Cheezels optional).