Far Kew Haters, Part 2. With Pete’s Perineum Steam.

It happened again! I’ve upset some people and they’ve had a crack at poor old Far Kew. The reason? I made a joke about Pete Evans and his bountiful chest wig. I’m a bad, bad, bad girl.

In an activated almond shell, here is what went down.

Paleo Petey caused a bit of friction with some comments about sunscreen being evil. Sure, it may have been taken out of context and he’s not exactly wrong about the dodgy chemicals. But, as usual, the way he went about sharing his information was not exactly responsible.  In comes yours truly with a light hearted gag about Pete not needing sunscreen (because his hairy chest wig will protect him from the elements), and WW3 breaks out.

Here is what I will say. Haters gonna hate, it’s happened before and I dare say it will happen again. But really, grow a fucking sense of humour. The same people bashing me for being so mean and nasty are being quite mean and nasty! See the irony here? I even had one person screen grab themselves unfollowing me to perhaps gain some validation. “I’ll show Far Kew! That evil, rat killing bitch.” One like. Drama Llama much? Oh well, Jerry Maguire only needed one person to follow him.

These ridiculous comments are like a red rag to a bull. But since it’s not really a good news week for the matadors of the world, I’ll just leave you with this. Always question everything. Someone who up until very recently was best-known for making exceptional pizzas, is all of a sudden preaching VERY enthusiastically about all kinds of health topics, after completing a 12 month course. That is suspicious to me. Sure, I might be bitter that he’s ruined the world with the weed that is Kale, but this simple fact remains. It is always about the bottom line. $$$$$. Cash money. Big pharma, natural remedies, Paleo Pete and everyone in between. Unless you are swapping bunches of kale grown in your own excrement over the back fence with your neighbour for a basket of eggs, be wary. Get all the facts and make up your own mind. All I did was make a silly joke about some hair…..

Anyway, I realised the badness of my ways. I’m sick, I clearly need help. I called Pete Evans and he is totally cool with it, we’ve buried the hatchet and it’s all good. He wanted me to share this Perineum steaming recipe with you because that’s what got him over the events of last night.

THE END

Pete’s Peri-Steam

1/4 cup activated almonds

Full bunch of kale, diced

3 litres of bone broth

Gently simmer ingredients in a clay pot until the steam rising is even and you can see it forming into kale shaped puffs.

Empty into Ikea potty and ease yourself onto the top, being careful not to burn your chicken skin handbag or vag.

Sit for approximately 5 minutes, or until you’ve gotten the fuck over yourself.

Breathe.

NB: For very strong emotions or repeated self-righteous actions, sit for half an hour.

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8 Comments Add yours

  1. Elizabeth Ring says:

    Yet again I’m amazed that the sensitive types are even following your site – surely the title infers that there may be exasperation and outrage? You are completely correct to take aim at Paleolithic Pete. He is anti-scientific and quite frankly dangerous. So to you Fark Kew I say – well done!! I love your blending of steaming and Paelo. It’s All Good.

    1. Far Kew says:

      I’d be offended if it were not so damn funny.

  2. Char says:

    I’m honestly surprised that Pete’s nether regions should need steaming. Pretty sure his gullible, mindless adherents lick that area clean while they swallow the crap he produces.

    1. Far Kew says:

      Choked on my green smoothie!

  3. MissusSel says:

    You just made me laugh so hard i woke the baby I’m trying to get to sleep. Fark yew, Far Kew!, these posts should come with warnings about shit like that

    1. Far Kew says:

      Sorry!!

  4. Becky B says:

    I literally just unliked your page so I could like it again 🙂

    1. Far Kew says:

      Hahaha!!

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