Fuck You, Bad Parkers.

I simply cannot deal with those who can’t park to save themselves.

The Westfield’s of Australia have saved me some pain by installing those clever little lights over the parking spaces, but the people that can’t get their shit together enough to get …

Fuck You, Mother’s Day.

I’ve got a mum and I am a mum. Which means I am going to be on the giving and receiving end during this Mother’s Day.

This week while I was at the mall (my favourite place on earth….KILL ME …

Fuck You, Game of Thrones.

I’ve been hooked since the first episode of this unbelievably magnificent TV show. I have loyally stood by while all my favourite characters got slaughtered and the fate of the ones left seems cruelly predictable. But I keep watching.

A …

Fuck You, Bitching Hour.

Bitching Hour. Not actually an hour, but roughly the time between 5-7pm when you’ve got kids to feed, bathe, dress and sedate so they will go the fuck to sleep.

In my house this is when all the major league unpleasant shit goes

Fuck You, Humble Braggers.

Ah, the humble brag. One of the most annoying things on Facebook and all social media come to think of it. Nothing gets my back up more than someone who is unable to own their apparent majesty and just fucking BRAG.

One …

Fuck You, Depression.

I’m going to warn you now, there is nothing funny about this post. You might want to pass over this one if you are the skipping, clappy handy type (not that there is anything wrong with that, gimme some please). …

Fuck You, Telstra. Part 2.

I was pretty shitty to receive my Telstra bill this month seeing as I wasn’t able to use the service for a good few days during the last billing period. I had issues with the Telstra network going down like …

Fuck You, Tiger Air.

I often need to take a quick trip up to Sydney for work purposes and usually the cheapest flights are with Tiger Air. They are relatively new to the scene, but legit enough that I will fly them and not …

Fuck You, Johnny Depp.

So many people asked me what my opinion of this gut wrenchingly awful video was that I could no longer stay silent.

You will no doubt have seen or at least heard about the apology video that Johnny Depp and his …

Fuck You, Shopping Centre Rides.

Y’all know I hate to go shopping. It’s where the most insufferable fools like to hang out, seemingly just to give me the fucking shits.

If I want to make a place in a fiery hell-like situation seem preferable to …

WTF Wednesday, 13th April.

It’s WTF Wednesday. YEAH!!!

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This is what happens when you pay 15 year olds $5 an hour to work on a Sunday. Poor pigs. It’s not their fault they are vertically challenged.

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Lea n Lee from Sydney had some tosser …

Fuck You, Asparagus Wee.

I consider myself an all or nothing individual. There is absolutely nothing I like to do by halves. For example, I cannot eat one chocolate, one biscuit or one piece of cheese. Nor can I drink one beer. I must …

Fuck You, Peak Hour Drivers.

On Wednesday this week, I had to drive to a place called Footscray, when it was pissing down with rain. Footscray is an ugly shit hole, made all the more shit by the fog and rain and sudden freezing weather. …

A Bit of Fucking Education.

I’d never really given much thought about the origins of one of my favourite words. Until a superb video was shared with me by the mighty astute Fiona Mackay from Sydney.

But before we go there, check out the Wikipedia …

WTF Wednesday – 6th April

This installment of WTF Wednesday seems to have a bit of an animal theme.

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Ace from Perth sent me this delicious confectionery item. Note how the camel (who looks a bit high) has moved his tail to the side, so …

Fuck You, School Holidays.

Yesterday I was cursing the school holidays as I spent hours stuck in traffic which eventually forced me to stop for a snack in one of the richest suburbs of Melbourne. 2 coffees, a quiche and half a baguette cost …

Fuck You, Internet Trolls.

This Fuck You Friday Blog started about 3 weeks ago when I gave the middle finger to the North Shore Mums Facebook group. It went viral ( 173,000 hits and counting) and I was thrust into the spotlight. The Facebook …

WTF Wednesday – The Easter Edition.

WTF Wednesday started early on Good Friday when some sad fucker from Orange decided it was a good idea to go out driving fully naked and do who-knows-what to himself with a sex toy.  He got pulled over by the …

Fuck You Instagram

Instagram. When I first heard of it I was unconvinced. I really didn’t think it would become as huge as it has over the past 5 years. But it is now huge. Mega fucking  facebook-buys-it-for-one-billion-dollars huge.

For a little while …

Fuck You Telstra

I am one of millions of Telstra customers who foolishly believed “You get what you pay for” when it comes to Telstra services. After all, they’ve spent years trying to convince us punters that their offering is superior to any …

WTF Wednesday 23rd March

 

Thank you to everyone who has been sending in these for WTF Wednesday. Enjoy!

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Genetically modified crops will kill us all. But not if we ride away to safety on a bargain four legged chicken! Giddy-up! Thanks Jo Joe …

Fuck You Two Minute Noodles

I grew up in the 70’s when Suimin instant noodles in those styrofoam cups were considered pretty exotic. Fluorescent pink sweet and sour pork from a Chinese restaurant was world class cuisine and if you had tried Japanese food people …

Fuck You Donald Trump

It’s Fuck You Friday! YEAH!!!

If the shocking victories in this week’s Super Tuesday 2 are anything to go by, Donald Trump could be the next President of the United States of America. Because a lot of really, really, really

WTF Wednesday 16th March

It’s WTF Wednesday! YEAH!

WTF Wednesday is what we all need while we wait for Fuck You Friday.

Here are the ones that had me floored. I mean actually saying WTF. I wasn’t able to stick to just 3 so …

Suck an actual bag of Dicks?

The other day I had a fantastic lady from the USA who will remain nameless send me a PM that stopped me breathing for a second. I felt this instant connection with her that I’ve never felt before. It was

FUCK YOU unexpected item in the bagging area.

Self-serve checkouts, I fucking hate them.

They make me murderous because 9 times out of 10 I get “Unexpected item in the bagging area”. What exactly is so unexpected? Did you think I plonked a unicorn on the weight tray? …

Fuck You North Shore Mums

The Fun Police were out in fucking force yesterday. Otherwise known as the admin team from a Facebook group called North Shore Mums.

Here is what went down.

I have been a member of that Facebook group since its inception, …

Fuck You Aldi Centre Aisle Special Buys

Oh my god, where to fucking start. Aldi, I heart you.  You do what it says on the box and provide me with good quality essentials at a reasonable cost. I was a convert way before it was accepted to …

This just made me throw up in my mouth

It’s no secret I fucking hate kale.

And I can tell you I have received no less than about 27 emails this week from people wanting to show me foodstuffs with kale in it. Thanks…..

This one made me throw …

FUCK YOU Himalayan Black Salt

Having not grown up in the Himalayan mountains, I am unfamiliar with salt mines.I grew up with the big white container of iodised cheap ass salt that everyone used to have. But I just KNOW Himalayan pink rock salt is …

FUCK YOU to the Asian pedicure place.

Fuck you for leaving me sitting there with my feet marinating in lukewarm water while you went and ate your lunch.
You electrocuted my asshole! And not in a good way!
It’s bad enough that I risk infection by getting

FUCK YOU Kale.

I cannot make friends with you. I just can’t.
I’ve tried eating you in salads, juicing you and making chips out of you.
Recently I had a “Super Food Salad” from a local cafe and got lock jaw halfway through.